to the
school the better.

_Jacky_ (_promptly_). I have no doubt you are right, my dear
Father; and, as I take a sincere interest in your welfare, I would
respectfully suggest that you should accompany me. It must be patent
to us both that you are lacking in polish.

_Pater_. (_losing his patience_). You young cub! I will give you the
soundest thrashing you ever had in your life!

_Materfamilias_ (_interposing_). Oh, you cruel man! What has the poor
child done?

_Jacky_ (_with ready tact_). Nothing, dearest Mamma, except to take
after his kind, clever and accomplished Mother!

[_Scene closes in upon a family group not entirely free from
domestic complications._

* * * * *

THE SURREY ABC.

[Illustration]

A is for ABEL, who can certainly block well;
B stands for BOWLEY, and BEAUMONT, and BROOKWELL;
C is the Captain, JOHN SHUTER his name;
D is the Devotion he gives to the game;
E is the Eleven, deservedly great;
F is the Funk which their bowlers create.
G stands for GEORGE--our only GEORGE LOHMANN;
H for young HENDERSON, valiant young foeman.
I is the Innings, beloved of the gapers;
J is the Jargon they put in the papers.
K is for KEY, the accomplished Dark Blue;
L is for LOCKWOOD, who bowls a bit too;
M is for MAURICE, his other name READ;
N poor old Nottingham, beaten indeed.
O is the Oval, the home of the crowd;
P the Pavilion, the seat of the proud.
Q is the Question, "Oh, Umpire, how's that?"
R is for Gentleman READ, who can bat.
S stands for SHARPE, it will pay you to mind him;
T is the Trouble they were put to to find him;
U their United attempts--hard, to beat them;
V the Vain efforts oft made to defeat them.
W represents WOOD at the wicket;
X is the Xcellent style of their cricket.
Y ends the county, not played out in a hurry.
Z stands for Zero, a stranger to Surrey!

* * * * *

[Illustration]

A GENUINE REGRET.--The French Admiral had one regret in leaving
Albion's hospitable shores, and that is that he didn't go up to London
and get a taste of a real City Savory at a Munching House banquet. He
wouldn't have found The Albion "perfidious" in the matter of "turtle
and fine living,"--which was Mrs. R.'s description of the Pharisee.
Their French leave is up, and they're on sail or return.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or