led up announcing "Harrison's Winter Sale. All goods at
sacrificial prices. Must be cleared. No offer refused." As a consequence
the boys burst into the place in a crowd, ate and drank everything they
could lay hands on, and paid for nothing. I have undertaken to rectify this
matter.

_January 28._--Mutiny is rampant. The boys, inflated by their success in
the tuck-shop, held "A Great White Sale" in most of the dormitories last
night. As a consequence, all towels, sheets, pillows, flannels, etc., are
inextricably mixed up, and a very large number can only be described as
"remnants." Seven masters have resigned, including Herr Wolff, who was
informed by a boy that he refused to handle the works of Schiller, because
they were "made in Germany." Personally flogged the boy.

_January 29._--Things are becoming intolerable. Three boys appeared in the
lower Modern class this morning in frock coats and false waxed moustaches
which they must have written to London for. They were sent up to me and had
the audacity to explain that they hoped to be shop-walkers some day and
wanted to practise. Another boy asked if a Hair Drill could be substituted
for the ordinary drill. Verily the reformer's task is a thankless one.

_January 30._--_Actum est_ ... This morning I announced to assembled boys
that I should not proceed with the Commercial side. The speech was received
in silence, except that one boy (whom, I regret to say, I was unable to
identify) called out, "And the next thing, Sir?" I fear there is no real
commercial zeal as yet among boys.

* * * * *

[Illustration: EXIT TANGO.

THE SPIRIT OF DANCING (_waking up_). "WELL, THANK HEAVEN THAT'S OVER; ONE
OF THE DULLEST NIGHTMARES I EVER MET."]

* * * * *

LIDBETTER.

The shopkeeper said he had not got it in stock, but he would get it for me.

"When?"

"By to-morrow morning."

"Before lunch?"

"Yes."

"For certain?"

"Yes."

Very well then, I would have it.

"Can I send it?" he asked.

"No, someone will call."

Very well. It should be ready for my man before lunch.

How did he know I had a man? I wondered. I had never been to the shop
before. Do I look like a man who has a man? I suppose I must. Yet I always
rather hoped that I didn't.

What had I said exactly? I had said, "someone will call."

Either, then, "someone" means, in such shops, a man-servant; or the fact
that I am a man-keeping ani