e to give
you is: _Retain your individuality_. It is a trite but perfectly true
observation that altogether too many men who during courtship were
chivalry personified assume a dictatorial tone as soon as the knot has
been tied. They think that the wife has actually ceased to exist as a
separate human being, that she has been absorbed, and with the loss of
her name she has lost all right to have her own opinions, her own
tastes, and, of course, her own friends. Friends who are obnoxious to
one of the marital partners one must give up sometimes; but do not
permit your entire personality to be obscured. Explain to your husband
that you are still an independent living human being. I do not say,
you should at once start a fight. Nothing is more offensive to me than
the militant, pugnacious woman, who wears a chip on the shoulder and
is continually ready to insist on her "rights." But with gentleness
and firmness much can be accomplished. And you want to remember that
many husbands act the way they do, not because they are vicious, but
because they are stupid or childish. Sometimes it is mere
thoughtlessness. They have been brought up wrongly, and some of them
sincerely imagine that by repressing the wife's personality, by
blotting it out, they are acting in her interest. "It is for her own
good." A serious talk with a husband will sometimes have a wonderful
effect. It may sometimes change entirely the current of his thoughts.
Of course if the husband is a cad, a conceited fool, or a brute, you
can do nothing with him; but fortunately not all husbands belong to
those categories.

=Interest in Husband's Affairs.= Be interested in your husband's
affairs. No matter what your husband's occupation may be, you should
possess enough intelligence to be able to understand what he is doing.
It is almost unbelievable how little some wives know about their
husband's profession or work. It is a bad thing when strange women
understand your husband's work better than you do, and when he finds
in them more intelligent and more sympathetic listeners. He may go to
them for sympathy. If your husband is a scientist or a research
worker or a professional man it is not necessary that you be familiar
with all the details of his work, but with the general character you
should be. And if you can be of assistance to him in his work, if it
be only looking up references, compiling tables and statistics or
merely typewriting, it will be appreciated by