ughtful perusal of
this chapter will help husband and wife to get along better, to avoid
unnecessary friction and to retain the mutual physical and spiritual
attraction which we call Love for a longer period than might otherwise
be the case.

I have the confidence and listen to the intimate confessions of more
men and woman probably than any other physician in America, or perhaps
in the world. For reasons easily understood they tell me things which
they would not think of telling to their regular physician. I have
learned of many of the reasons, which in many families led first to a
coolness, then to an estrangement, or to quarrels, to separation and
divorce. I know the first steps which in many instances draw the
husband to another woman. And I wish to tell you, that while I firmly
believe in the polygamous or rather varietist tendencies of the
average man, nevertheless I am convinced that one of the great reasons
why so many married men patronize prostitutes, or have mistresses or
lady friends, is to be found in the wives themselves. Many wives
_drive_ their husbands to other women, and are alone responsible for
their suffering, for the cooling of their husbands' affections, and
perhaps even desertion. And in the following pages I will endeavor, as
stated before, to point out some of the rocks and shoals on which the
matrimonial bark is so often shattered, and to offer the wives some
suggestions which will help them to retain their husbands' affections
and perhaps even also their fidelity.

While the advice is intended primarily for wives, there will be found
here and there a salutary piece of advice for husbands. Some of the
advice is applicable to both partners, and as to those suggestions
which concern the husband only--it will be a good thing for the wives
to call their husbands' attention to them.

The first few weeks or the first few months are the most important in
the life of a married couple. The stability of the marriage, the
future happiness, often depend upon the things which are done or left
undone during the initial weeks of married life. A certain
understanding must be reached from the very beginning. If your husband
does certain things which displease you and which you know should not
be done, it is best to say so at the very start. It is easier to
prevent the establishment of a habit than to break a habit after it
has been established.

=Retain Your Individuality.= The first piece of advice I hav