c scandal, or sues for divorce. Such a wife
_never_ loved her husband, and he is well rid of her. And what I said
about the wife applies with _almost_ equal force to the husband.

=The Abandoned Lover.= But what shall the abandoned lover do? Let us
take the case of A and B, and let A stand for any man and B for any
woman; or, _vice versa_, let A be the woman and B the man, for in
jealousy and love what applies to one sex is applicable with
practically the same force to the opposite sex. Suppose A is intensely
jealous of and deeply, passionately in love with B; but B is utterly
indifferent and does not care what A may feel or do. A and B may be
married or not; this does not alter the case materially. Suppose B, if
unmarried to A, goes off and marries another man, or, if married to
A, goes off and leaves him; or suppose B does not love anybody else,
but just remains indifferent to A's advances or repels him because she
cannot reciprocate his love. Unrequited love alone can cause almost as
fierce tortures as the most intense jealousy. And A suffers tortures.
What shall he do? What shall he do to save himself--to save his
health, his mind, his life? For he is unable to eat, unable to sleep,
unable to work, and he feels that he is going to pieces. He has lost
his position and is in danger of losing his reason. What shall he do
to escape insanity or a suicide's grave? There is but one remedy. Let
him use all his energies to find a _substitute_. I mean a living
substitute. Mere sexual desire may be sublimated, to a certain extent,
into other channels, may be replaced by work, study, a hobby or some
engrossing interest. A great unrequited love, with the element of
jealousy present or absent, cannot be replaced by anything else except
by another love. And where as great a love is impossible let it be a
minor love or a series of minor loves. When Goethe, one of the world's
great lovers, was unable to walk in the broad avenue of a great love
he would walk in the by-paths of a number of little loves. The common
talk about a person being unable to love more than once in his or her
life is silly nonsense. A man or a woman is able to love, and love
very deeply, a number of times; and love simultaneously or
successively. It is often a mere matter of opportunity. I know that
there _are_ loves that are eternal; that there are loves for which no
substitute can be found. But these supreme, divine loves are so rare
that among ordinary morta