at the neck.... She looks very well with her hair done over her
head, and I did her hair myself.... She was perfectly fascinating....

SHIPUCHIN. [Who has had enough of it already] Yes, yes...
fascinating.... They may be here any moment....

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency!

SHIPUCHIN. [Dully] What else? What do you want?

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency! [Points to KHIRIN] This man... this man
tapped the table with his finger, and then his head.... You told him to
look after my affair, but he insults me and says all sorts of things.
I'm a weak, defenceless woman....

SHIPUCHIN. All right, madam, I'll see to it... and take the necessary
steps.... Go away now... later on! [Aside] My gout's coming on!

KHIRIN. [In a low tone to SHIPUCHIN] Andrey Andreyevitch, send for the
hall-porter and have her turned out neck and crop! What else can we do?

SHIPUCHIN. [Frightened] No, no! She'll kick up a row and we aren't the
only people in the building.

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency.

KHIRIN. [In a tearful voice] But I've got to finish my report! I won't
have time! I won't!

MERCHUTKINA. Your excellency, when shall I have the money? I want it
now.

SHIPUCHIN. [Aside, in dismay] A re-mark-ab-ly beastly woman! [Politely]
Madam, I've already told you, this is a bank, a private, commercial
concern.

MERCHUTKINA. Be a father to me, your excellency.... If the doctor's
certificate isn't enough, I can get you another from the police. Tell
them to give me the money!

SHIPUCHIN. [Panting] Ouf!

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [To MERCHUTKINA] Mother, haven't you already been
told that you're disturbing them? What right have you?

MERCHUTKINA. Mother, beautiful one, nobody will help me. All I do is to
eat and drink, and just now I didn't enjoy my coffee at all.

SHIPUCHIN. [Exhausted] How much do you want?

MERCHUTKINA. 24 roubles 36 copecks.

SHIPUCHIN. All right! [Takes a 25-rouble note out of his pocket-book and
gives it to her] Here are 25 roubles. Take it and... go!

[KHIRIN coughs angrily.]

MERCHUTKINA. I thank you very humbly, your excellency. [Hides the
money.]

TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. [Sits by her husband] It's time I went home....
[Looks at watch] But I haven't done yet.... I'll finish in one minute
and go away.... What a time we had! Yes, what a time! We went to spend
the evening at the Berezhnitskys.... It was all right, quite fun, but
nothing in particular.... Katya's devoted Grendilevsky was there, of
course.... Well, I tal