s you here?

TOLKACHOV. [Breathing heavily] My dear good fellow... I want to ask
you something.... I implore you lend me a revolver till to-morrow. Be a
friend!

MURASHKIN. What do you want a revolver for?

TOLKACHOV. I must have it.... Oh, little fathers!... give me some
water... water quickly!... I must have it... I've got to go through a
dark wood to-night, so in case of accidents... do, please, lend it to
me.

MURASHKIN. Oh, you liar, Ivan Ivanovitch! What the devil have you got to
do in a dark wood? I expect you are up to something. I can see by your
face that you are up to something. What's the matter with you? Are you
ill?

TOLKACHOV. Wait a moment, let me breathe.... Oh little mothers! I am
dog-tired. I've got a feeling all over me, and in my head as well, as if
I've been roasted on a spit. I can't stand it any longer. Be a friend,
and don't ask me any questions or insist on details; just give me the
revolver! I beseech you!

MURASHKIN. Well, really! Ivan Ivanovitch, what cowardice is this? The
father of a family and a Civil Servant holding a responsible post! For
shame!

TOLKACHOV. What sort of a father of a family am I! I am a martyr. I am
a beast of burden, a nigger, a slave, a rascal who keeps on waiting here
for something to happen instead of starting off for the next world. I am
a rag, a fool, an idiot. Why am I alive? What's the use? [Jumps up] Well
now, tell me why am I alive? What's the purpose of this uninterrupted
series of mental and physical sufferings? I understand being a martyr
to an idea, yes! But to be a martyr to the devil knows what, skirts and
lamp-globes, no! I humbly decline! No, no, no! I've had enough! Enough!

MURASHKIN. Don't shout, the neighbours will hear you!

TOLKACHOV. Let your neighbours hear; it's all the same to me! If you
don't give me a revolver somebody else will, and there will be an end of
me anyway! I've made up my mind!

MURASHKIN. Hold on, you've pulled off a button. Speak calmly. I still
don't understand what's wrong with your life.

TOLKACHOV. What's wrong? You ask me what's wrong? Very well, I'll tell
you! Very well! I'll tell you everything, and then perhaps my soul will
be lighter. Let's sit down. Now listen... Oh, little mothers, I am out
of breath!... Just let's take to-day as an instance. Let's take to-day.
As you know, I've got to work at the Treasury from ten to four. It's
hot, it's stuffy, there are flies, and, my dear fellow, the very dickens