l, I say no more; but you are lighted into such a family,
such food for concupiscence, such _bona roba's_!
_Wood._ One I know, indeed; a wife: But _bona roba's_, say you?
_Aldo._ I say, _bona roba's_, in the plural number.
_Wood._ Why, what a Turk Mahomet shall I be! No, I will not make
myself drunk with the conceit of so much joy: The fortune's too great
for mortal man; and I a poor unworthy sinner.
_Aldo._ Would I lie to my friend? Am I a man? Am I a christian? There
is that wife you mentioned, a delicate little wheedling devil, with
such an appearance of simplicity; and with that, she does so
undermine, so fool her conceited husband, that he despises her!
_Wood._ Just ripe for horns: His destiny, like a Turk's, is written in
his forehead.[1]
_Aldo._ Peace, peace! thou art yet ordained for greater things. There
is another, too, a kept mistress, a brave strapping jade, a two-handed
whore!
_Wood._ A kept mistress, too! my bowels yearn to her already: she is
certain prize.
_Aldo._ But this lady is so termagant an empress! and he is so
submissive, so tame, so led a keeper, and as proud of his slavery as a
Frenchman. I am confident he dares not find her false, for fear of a
quarrel with her; because he is sure to be at the charges of the war.
She knows he cannot live without her, and therefore seeks occasions of
falling out, to make him purchase peace. I believe she is now aiming
at a settlement.
_Wood._ Might not I ask you one civil question? How pass you your time
in this noble family? For I find you are a lover of the game, and I
should be loth to hunt in your purlieus.
_Aldo._ I must first tell you something of my condition. I am here a
friend to all of them; I am their _factotum_, do all their business;
for, not to boast, sir, I am a man of general acquaintance: There is
no news in town, either foreign or domestic, but I have it first; no
mortgage of lands, no sale of houses, but I have a finger in them.
_Wood._ Then, I suppose, you are a gainer by your pains.
_Aldo._ No, I do all _gratis_, and am most commonly a loser; only a
buck sometimes from this good lord, or that good lady in the country:
and I eat it not alone, I must have company.
_Wood._ Pray, what company do you invite?
_Aldo._ Peace, peace, I am coming to you: Why, you must know I am
tender-natured; and if any unhappy difference have arisen betwixt a
mistress and her gallant, then I strike in, to do good offices betwixt
them
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