al
or vulgar sayings; use neither favourite nor hard words, but seek for
the most elegant; be careful in the management of them, and depend on it
your labour will not be lost; for nothing is more engaging than a
fashionable and polite address.
_Small-Talk_.
36. In all good company we meet with a certain manner, phraseology and
general conversation, that distinguishes the man of fashion. This can
only be acquired by frequenting good company, and being particularly
attentive to all that passes there.
37. When invited to dine or sup at the house of any well-bred man,
observe how he does the honours of his table, and mark his manner of
treating his company.
Attend to the compliments of congratulation or condolence that he pays;
and take notice of his address to his superiors, his equals, and his
inferiors; nay, his very looks and tone of voice are worth your
attention, for we cannot please without an union of them all.
38. There is a certain distinguishing diction that marks the man of
fashion, a certain language of conversation that every gentleman should
be master of. Saying to a man just married, "I wish you joy," or to one
who has lost his wife, "I am sorry for your loss," and both perhaps with
an unmeaning countenance, may be civil, but it is nevertheless vulgar. A
man of fashion will express the same thing more elegantly, and with a
look of sincerity, that shall attract the esteem of the person he speaks
to. He will advance to the one, with warmth and cheerfulness, and
perhaps squeezing him by the hand, will say, "Believe me, my dear sir, I
have scarce words to express the joy I feel, upon your happy alliance
with such or such a family, &c." To the other in affliction he will
advance slowly, and with a peculiar composure of voice and countenance,
begin his compliments of condolence with, "I hope, sir, you will do me
the justice to be persuaded, that I am not insensible of your
unhappiness, that I take part in your distress, and shall ever be
affected where _you_ are so."
39. Your first address to, and indeed all your conversation with your
superiors, should be open, cheerful, and respectful; with your equals,
warm, and animated; with your inferiors, hearty, free, and unreserved.
40. There is a fashionable kind of small-talk, which, however trifling
it may be thought, has its use in mixed companies; of course you should
endeavour to acquire it. By small-talk, I mean a good deal to say on
unimportant m
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