call for a pint of ale, nor does he shrink from
recommending ale to others when they are faint and downcast. In one
instance, it is true, he does what cannot be exactly justified; he
encourages the Priest in the dingle, in more instances than one, in
drinking more hollands and water than is consistent with decorum. He has
a motive indeed in doing so; a desire to learn from the knave in his cups
the plans and hopes of the Propaganda of Rome. Such conduct, however,
was inconsistent with strict fair dealing and openness; and the author
advises all those whose consciences never reproach them for a single
unfair or covert act committed by them, to abuse him heartily for
administering hollands and water to the Priest of Rome. In that instance
the hero is certainly wrong; yet in all other cases with regard to drink,
he is manifestly right. To tell people that they are never to drink a
glass of ale or wine themselves, or to give one to others, is cant; and
the writer has no toleration for cant of any description. Some cants are
not dangerous; but the writer believes that a more dangerous cant than
the temperance cant, or, as it is generally called, teetotalism, is
scarcely to be found. The writer is willing to believe that it
originated with well-meaning, though weak people; but there can be no
doubt that it was quickly turned to account by people who were neither
well-meaning nor weak. Let the reader note particularly the purpose to
which this cry has been turned in America; the land, indeed, par
excellence, of humbug and humbug cries. It is there continually in the
mouth of the most violent political party, and is made an instrument of
almost unexampled persecution. The writer would say more on the
temperance cant, both in England and America, but want of space prevents
him. There is one point on which he cannot avoid making a few brief
remarks--that is, the inconsistent conduct of its apostles in general.
The teetotal apostle says it is a dreadful thing to be drunk. So it is,
teetotaller; but, if so, why do you get drunk? I get drunk? Yes,
unhappy man, why do you get drunk on smoke and passion? Why are your
garments impregnated with the odour of the Indian weed? Why is there a
pipe or cigar always in your mouth? Why is your language more dreadful
than that of a Poissarde? Tobacco smoke is more deleterious than ale,
teetotaller; bile more potent than brandy. You are fond of telling your
hearers what an awful