ing to let you
have a trial."

The young woman opened her bag with alacrity and handed me a card.

"The Superfection Laundry," I read with amazement. "Surely there must
be some mistake?"

"Are you not Mrs. Fulton?" asked the young woman.

"No, you have come a floor too high. Mrs. Fulton lives in the flat
below me."

"I must apologise for my call, then; I was sent to see Mrs. Fulton.
But all the same may we not add you to the list of our customers?"

"Impossible," I said.

"May I ask your reasons, Madam?"

"Because the laundry I employ at present is the Superfection."

* * * * *

=The Church Militant in the Near East.=

"Resht was bombed by Red aeroplanes on September 28 and 30; one of
the machines was forced to descend on the latter date some 6 miles
to the north of the town. The pilot and observer were taken by the
Cassocks."--_Evening Paper._

[Illustration: OUR VILLAGE SIGN.]

[Illustration:

_The Guest (exasperated with waiting)._ "I'VE A GOOD MIND TO DRIVE
OFF, BUT I'M AFRAID OF HITTING THAT IDIOT IN FRONT."

_The Hostess._ "HIT HIM WHERE YOU LIKE, DEAR--IT'S MY HUSBAND."]

* * * * *

=PROOF POSITIVE.=

This kind of thing had been going on morning after morning until I was
quite tired.

_They._ You ought to get hold of a good dog.

It is extraordinary how many things one ought to get hold of in the
country. Sometimes it is a wood-chopper and sometimes a couple of
hundred cabbages, and sometimes a cartload of manure, and sometimes a
few good hens. I find this very exhausting to the grip.

_I._ What for?

_They._ To watch your house.

_I._ I do not wish to inflict pain on a good dog. What kind of a dog
ought it to be?

_They._ Well, a mastiff.

_I._ Isn't that rather a smooth kind of dog? If I have to get hold of
a dog, I should like one with rather a rougher surface.

_They._ Try an Irish terrier.

_I._ I have. They fight.

_They._ Not unless they're provoked.

_I._ Nobody fights unless he is provoked. But more things provoke an
Irish terrier than one might imagine. The postman provoked my old one
so much that it bit the letters out of his hand and ate them.

_They._ Well, you didn't get any bills, then.

_I._ Yes, I did. Bills always came when the dog was away for the
week-end. He was a great week-ender, and he always came back from
week-ends with more and more pieces out of his ears until at las