gain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: =MANNERS AND MODES.=

NOW THAT MEN'S ATTIRE IS SO COSTLY WHY NOT TAKE A LEAF FROM THE
LADIES' BOOK OF FASHION AND LET THE TAILORS HAVE DRESS PARADES OF THE
LATEST DESIGNS?]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CULT OF FACE-READING.

'_Erb_ (_a cinema habitue_). "SEE WOT 'E'S SAYING, EM'LY? '_E'S STILL
AT THE OFFICE AND WON'T BE ABLE TO GET 'OME TO DINNER_."]

* * * * *

=THE CONSPIRATORS.=

VI.

MY DEAR CHARLES,--I was talking to the Editor the other day about this
correspondence of ours which we are conducting in the public Press,
thus saving the twopenny stamps and avoiding the increased cost of
living which is hitting everyone else so hard.

"This ought to be put a stop to," said he.

"That is just what I have been saying since 1918," I replied; "but the
question is what to do about it? When you get down to it, the word
'Bolshevist' is but the Russian for 'advanced Socialist,' and there is
nothing to prevent Socialists, whether they be advanced or retarded.
How then are you going to put a stop to Bolshevism?"

"I was thinking of the correspondence," the Editor replied.

So I stopped talking to him and sat down to write my last letter to
you on the subject.

To resume: In the summer of 1918 the German War Lords began to have
their doubts of a Pax Germanica and saw signs rather of a Wash-out
Germanicum. Things looked ill with them, so they consulted their
doctor, a certain person who called himself "Dr. Help-us" by way of a
jest. He proved more successful as a business man, however, than he
was as a humourist. He advised that the "War of World Conquest" was
not likely to produce a dividend, because its name was against it.
Cut out "Imperialism"; substitute another word, with just as many
syllables and no less an imposing sound, "Proletariat"; call the thing
"Class Warfare"; advertise it thoroughly and attract to it all the
political egoists of disappointed ambition in the various countries of
the enemy, and the German War Lords would find it no longer necessary
to crush all existing nations, since all existing nations would then
set about to crush themselves.

The idea was voted excellent, and the trial run in Russia gave
complete satisfaction.

But not all countries were so immediately susceptible to the idea of
a World Revolution. Victory hath its charms and does not predispos