urned to him, and with the best kind
of good nature told him not to come within grasping distance.

"Lord bless yer soul, Uncle Sam! I told him it was always good policy
to keep civil to distinguished individuals, and treating his insolence
as Captain Ingraham would an Austrian proclamation, I kept onward
(that's the motto!) until the passage-way opened into a gorgeously
decorated hall, the motto on the door of which I surveyed until my
head begun to ache. The General seems to have got him a snug and
well-ordained establishment, thought I. But the fixings were rather
more profuse than democracy in its simplicity had led me to suppose
its taste appreciated. But there was no concealing the fact, that the
democracy--its love of simplicity not excepted--did pay large sums now
and then for showy fixtures and grand failures. The short-comings of
the New Hampshire law-shop were extinct--elegance everywhere met the
eye. While enjoying my meditations one flunkey approached another,
telling him to keep a keen eye on that fellow--meaning me. Then a slim
figure done up in dignity and tight clothes approached me with a
polite bow: 'Please remember this is the President's mansion,' said
he, viewing my perpendicular as if he questioned whether my length was
all real growth. Seeing that the establishment belonged to Uncle Sam,
I assured him he was a little too impertinent.

"'Now, neighbor!' says I to the citizen, don't deceive yourself by
supposing the General has got his aristocracy up like this before he
has lodged three months in the White House. I'm an independent
citizen; come to put some straight policy into the General, who, with
the assistance of his grind-stone man, Fourney, unfortunately has got
everything into a twist. My name (sometimes they call me Squire) is
Solomon Smooth. It don't matter what they call me now, for be it
known, ye men of titles, all the fishermen in our district have become
judges and generals. This is the result of that necessity that makes
negro-drivers of the south captains and majors. 'But the President,'
said he, 'has got such a fearful load of business on his hands this
morning, it will be impossible he can see Mr. Smooth, nor are the
apartments in a state to be seen by visitor--' 'Always in the suds!' I
interrupted. 'No! that ain't it,' he continued, half trembling of
fear; 'but the President is new, nor yet has got into the straight way
of doing crooked business.'

"'Never mind that,' replied