oh! Land oh!' In a frenzy of joy he had
well-nigh upset the barge and spilled us out. Then he pointed his
finger to an object in the distance that seemed like a lonely steeple
holding watch over midnight.

"'I see it!' I rejoined--'it's land--a new discovery: I'll call it
Uncle Sam's Land.'

"'A little more moderate, if you please, Mr. Smooth,' retorted John,
very politely. 'Seeing it first, I claim the right of calling it
Prince Albert's Island.' John was inclined to exchange any amount of
diplomatic notes, but I inquired, in a plain sort of way, what would
be the good it could confer on his country? to which he folded his
arms, and replied curtly, that having it was the thing sought for by
his government. He might institute the Established Church on it, and
create any amount of Bishops, with good fat salaries--a thing
all-desirable in the eyes of the Saviour. We use these out-of-the-way
places,' he continued, 'as a means of relief to our over-crowded
population and pensioners. We are heavy of pensioners, while our
governors are prone to create dependencies, which they do in
consideration of the very large stock of gentlemen always on hand, and
most clamorous to be provided for at John's expense.'

"Having arrived over the spot, we found it an out-of-the-way island;
upon which I suggested that it would be better to drop the stars and
stripes, with a note to the chief (if one there existed) desiring he
would put it up in the name of our great Republic. John, taking the
initiative, began to draw from his pocket a bit of bunting; but so
methodical was he, that before he had completed the process I took
from my pocket a piece of red chalk, and on my white, Sunday nightcap
figured the Stars and Stripes. This done, I rolled it round my
jacknife, and let it slide downward ere John had his Union Jack
ready. Down it went, like a thunderbolt chased by a streak of chain
lightning. 'Put that up, in the name of these United States' thought
I,--'we'll take care of that little bit of territory.'

"'Well,' interrupted John, looking as serious as a May moon, 'it's
Yankee outright: I confess the Union Jack can't keep up with the Stars
and Stripes, nohow!'

"'Give us your hand, John,' said I, 'we'll be good-natured anyhow,
seeing the positive proof that we both belong to the same school. We
are types of two very progressive and honorable gentlemen, who, in a
very modest sort of way, do pirate territory now and then, merely for
the