"I calmly intimated that he might be right, but inquired if he ever
knew a Yankee out-yankeed? John folded his arms, and got his face well
adjusted within the circle of his ample shirt-collar, which he had
preserved unruffled during his fall. Suddenly I remembered that in my
pocket was a handbill of Uncle Obadiah's clock factory, upon which was
broadly emblazoned a time-piece of modern fashion. Its effect was
electric. No sooner was it displayed than the barbarian's eye glowed
with anxiety; the gaudy picture carried his heart and soul captive to
Uncle Sam. In his ecstacy he threw his arms about me, hugged me and
fawned me, and in his joy was well nigh devouring me. Poor John stood
outdone--dumfounded. The sight was characteristic.

"'Principles, in these days of development,' mumbled John, as with the
fingers of his right hand he stroked his chin, 'I admit give way to
circumstances. To say a difficulty exists you Yankees cannot
surmount--to say an invention is known you cannot improve and apply;
to say a remote colony exists you cannot people and govern, is a
calumny gross indeed. If they fail to gain the end they aim at by one
movement they will resort to another more bold--success must follow.'
John grudgingly made the admission. Had he possessed the forethought
to discover how the point was likely to turn he would have provided
himself with the picture of a business-like ambassador proceeding to a
great convention with only thirty-two females in his train, as might
have been seen at Vienna very recently; or, better yet, the picture of
a duke's flunkey, which, being the more ridiculous of the two, would
to the savage have proved the greater attraction. But John turned
coldly and methodically from the subject. His ancestors had made so
many sovereigns! he said. Nothing to be gained, his thoughts were
turned now to the means of getting away from the savages. Not another
day would he stay; I was at liberty to start any amount of young
Republics. Apprehending difficulty from his state of excitement I
counselled his better nature, and brought to the rescue the quiet and
cheerful of his curious composition. It was the only way to surmount a
great difficulty. Preserving, then, the calm of a philosopher, I set
about inventing something to take us from thence, to a more congenial
land. Smooth, with progress in his head and grasp in his fingers, can,
upon the same principle that he can start something to please our
nation, crea