or any other game, provided there be
a rule of honor and economy to work out.'

"'Be a little more modest, Smooth--if you please!' spoke up my most
intimate friend, Palm, who until then had seemed viewing the whole
conclave with measured contempt. Indeed my friend Palm was a regular
brick in his way, which fact was most happily illustrated in the
manner he now and then threw the hard tokens at the head of his
parliamentary brother Bright. It was as unfortunate as notorious,
however, that in his dealings with the United States, his conduct was
as dishonorable as uncertain. 'Smooth, you are a large youth,' said
he; 'but your reforming principles have too great a resemblance to
innovations to go down without scratching, in this aged atmosphere of
ours! Nor must you be so lavish of your manifest destiny policy; that,
to me, is the medium by which you intend to come on this side of the
big pond and stick your fingers into everybody's mess.'

"I interrupted him just then; and in reply to a question I put, he
acknowledged his conviction to be that we did things well and simply;
but he made one little reservation, and that was that we did not do so
well when we permitted the little State of South Carolina to imprison
Uncle John's nigger sailors. Then he said South Carolina was the
_Empire State of Nigger Slavery;_ and was not aware of his mistake,
until such I happily removed by convincing him that she was the only
Don Quixote of the Union; and as it was necessary for every nation to
have such an inhabitant in its compact, merely for the purpose of
keeping alive the humorous, so Carolina filled the void in America,
where happily her little exploits were viewed as very harmless.

"Well, peace again being preserved, we drew up to have a feast of the
hot dough-nuts, when a terrible thundering came at the great
door. Then the figure standing guard, who resembled a flour-barrel in
frills, announced the reporter of the _Times_; who said he must come
in, for his folks, too, held a large stake in the game. And the
individual did come in; and a right jolly-looking fellow he was, too;
and in contrast with the fudgy old conclave, seemed bright, fresh, and
ready to go ahead; and then he said the _Times_ and the country were
two great institutions. 'You!' he spoke, advancing independently to
the table, and grinning the old fogies almost out of countenance,
'have got to render an account of this game to the country! your just
unequiliber