spect of soon leaving
Europe, its aristocracy, its blighting kingcraft, and its squabbles,
who should confront me but grandfather Steady, a monster despatch
under his arm, on which loomed out in all its scarlet the great seal
of the State Department. Steady had recognized '_Confidential_' on the
envelope, and bore it to me safely ensconced beneath the ample skirts
of his coat. 'Something of great importance for Minister Smooth!' said
he, making a very diplomatic bow as he extended the packet, made his
compliments, and retired. Steady having disappeared, I opened the
packet, and, equally surprised with the reader, what should I find but
a State document of great dimensions, commissioning Smooth without
further delay to call together at Ostend, or such other place on the
continent of Europe as was celebrated for its pure air and good
liquors, a Congress of American Ministers! Three several times did the
commission reiterate--'Pure air and good liquors!' as if the tastes of
the very respectable gentlemen forming the Congress made such adjuncts
inseparable from the prime object of their deliberations. For some
time did I exert my most mature deliberations to get the diplomacy of
the thing square into my head, which I thought was more than had been
done by the State Department. Well, you better believe it was a
puzzle! It was so Dutch, as we say. I was directed particularly to
consult my old and much-tried friend, James Buckhanan, whose sanction
and presence at the gathering was necessary, as well for the purpose
of imparting an air of dignity to the Convention as counteracting the
fast spirit of those gentlemen, who had gained a doubtful notoriety
through their extensive dealings in cheap popularity. Marcy added, in
a private and confidential note, that he felt inclined to question the
policy of inviting certain gentlemen, but as a matter of etiquette it
could not be foregone; and then he was anxious to keep peace in the
house, I was ordered to bag Buckhanan, and, if against his will, carry
him captive; to summon Monsieur Souley, who was an excellent cook, not
a bad fighting man, but a diplomatist fit only for the small work of
the _carbonari;_ to dispatch Mason, who they said was cultivating his
French, with the hope of being up in the language of diplomacy in the
course of six years more; to enjoin Mr. Fay, well known in
Switzerland for his love of quiet life; to inveigle Mr. Belmont, who
at the Hague had taken upon himsel