. The Englishman saw this was intended as
a sarcasm against his own story, so he left the room in indignation, and
sent his friend, according to the old plan, to demand satisfaction or an
apology from the gentleman, who had, he thought, insulted him. The
narrator of the skate story coolly replied, "Weel, sir, gin yer freend
will tak' a few feet aff the length o' his tiger, we'll see what can be
dune about the breadth o' the skate." He was too cautious to commit
himself to a rash or decided course of conduct. When the tiger was
shortened, he would take into consideration a reduction of superficial
area in his skate.

A kind correspondent has sent me about as good a specimen of dry
Scottish quiet humour as I know. A certain Aberdeenshire laird, who kept
a very good poultry-yard, could not command a fresh egg for his
breakfast, and felt much aggrieved by the want. One day, however, he met
his grieve's wife with a nice basket, and very suspiciously going
towards the market; on passing and speaking a word, he was enabled to
discover that her basket was full of beautiful white eggs. Next time he
talked with his grieve, he said to him, "James, I like you very well,
and I think you serve me faithfully, but I cannot say I admire your
wife." To which the cool reply was, "Oh, 'deed, sir, I'm no surprised at
that, for I dinna muckle admire her mysel'."

An answer very much resembling this, and as much to the point, was that
of a gudewife on Deeside, whose daughter had just been married and had
left her for her new home. A lady asked the mother very kindly about her
daughter, and said she hoped she liked her new home and new relations.
"Ou, my lady, she likes the parish weel eneuch, but she doesna think
muckle o' her _man_!"

The natives of Aberdeenshire are distinguished for the two qualities of
being very acute in their remarks and very peculiar in their language.
Any one may still gain a thorough knowledge of Aberdeen dialect and see
capital examples of Aberdeen humour. I have been supplied with a
remarkable example of this combination of Aberdeen shrewdness with
Aberdeen dialect. In the course of the week after the Sunday on which
several elders of an Aberdeen parish had been set apart for parochial
offices, a knot of the parishioners had assembled at what was in all
parishes a great place of resort for idle gossiping--the smiddy or
blacksmith's workshop. The qualifications of the new elders were
severely criticised. One of t