al, if you don't send that
beastly stone to h---, I'll break your head." "Well," said the man
quietly, and as if he had received an order which he had to execute, and
without meaning anything irreverent, "aiblins gin it were sent to heevan
_it wad be mair out o' your Lordship's way_."

I think about as cool a Scottish "aside" as I know, was that of the old
dealer who, when exhorting his son to practise honesty in his dealings,
on the ground of its being the "best policy," quietly added, "I _hae
tried baith_"

In this work frequent mention is made of a class of old _ladies_,
generally residing in small towns, who retained till within the memory
of many now living the special characteristics I have referred to. Owing
to local connection, I have brought forward those chiefly who lived in
Montrose and the neighbourhood. But the race is extinct; you might as
well look for hoops and farthingales in society as for such characters
now. You can scarcely imagine an old lady, however quaint, now making
use of some of the expressions recorded in the text, or saying, for the
purpose of breaking up a party of which she was tired, from holding bad
cards, "We'll stop now, bairns; I'm no enterteened;" or urging more
haste in going to church on the plea, "Come awa, or I'll be ower late
for the 'wicked man'"--her mode of expressing the commencement of
the service.

Nothing could better illustrate the quiet pawky style for which our
countrymen have been distinguished, than the old story of the piper and
the wolves. A Scottish piper was passing through a deep forest. In the
evening he sat down to take his supper. He had hardly begun, when a
number of hungry wolves, prowling about for food, collected round him.
In self-defence, the poor man began to throw pieces of his victuals to
them, which they greedily devoured. When he had disposed of all, in a
fit of despair he took his pipes and began to play. The unusual sound
terrified the wolves, which, one and all, took to their heels and
scampered off in every direction: on observing which, Sandy quietly
remarked, "Od, an I'd kenned ye liket the pipes sae weel, I'd a gien ye
a spring _afore_ supper."

This imperturbable mode of looking at the events of life is illustrated
by perhaps the _most_ cautious answer on record, of the Scotsman who,
being asked if he could play the fiddle, warily answered, "He couldna
say, for he had never tried." But take other cases. For example: One
tremendously h