r my part, it was not until a long time afterwards, and when I
began to feel the consequences of it, that the matter came to my
knowledge.

Is not this the origin of the concealed but implacable hatred of another
lady who was in a like situation, without my knowing it, or even being
acquainted with her person when I wrote the passage? When the book was
published the acquaintance was made, and I was very uneasy. I mentioned
this to the Chevalier de Lorenzy, who laughed at me, and said the lady
was so little offended that she had not even taken notice of the matter.
I believed him, perhaps rather too lightly, and made myself easy when
there was much reason for my being otherwise.

At the beginning of the winter I received an additional mark of the
goodness of M. de Malesherbes of which I was very sensible, although I
did not think proper to take advantage of it. A place was vacant in the
'Journal des Savans'. Margency wrote to me, proposing to me the place,
as from himself. But I easily perceived from the manner of the letter
that he was dictated to and authorized; he afterwards told me he had been
desired to make me the offer. The occupations of this place were but
trifling. All I should have had to do would have been to make two
abstracts a month, from the books brought to me for that purpose, without
being under the necessity of going once to Paris, not even to pay the
magistrate a visit of thanks. By this employment I should have entered a
society of men of letters of the first merit; M. de Mairan, Clairaut, De
Guignes and the Abbe Barthelemi, with the first two of whom I had already
made an acquaintance, and that of the two others was very desirable. In
fine, for this trifling employment, the duties of which I might so
commodiously have discharged, there was a salary of eight hundred livres
(thirty-three pounds); I was for a few hours undecided, and this from a
fear of making Margency angry and displeasing M. de Malesherbes. But at
length the insupportable constraint of not having it in my power to work
when I thought proper, and to be commanded by time; and moreover the
certainty of badly performing the functions with which I was to charge
myself, prevailed over everything, and determined me to refuse a place
for which I was unfit. I knew that my whole talent consisted in a
certain warmth of mind with respect to the subjects of what I had to
treat, and that nothing but the love of that which was great, be