autiful
and sublime, could animate my genius. What would the subjects of the
extracts I should have had to make from books, or even the books
themselves, have signified to me? My indifference about them would have
frozen my pen, and stupefied my mind. People thought I could make a
trade of writing, as most of the other men of letters did, instead of
which I never could write but from the warmth of imagination. This
certainly was not necessary for the 'Journal des Savans'. I therefore
wrote to Margency a letter of thanks, in the politest terms possible, and
so well explained to him my reasons, that it was not possible that either
he or M. de Malesherbes could imagine there was pride or ill-humor in my
refusal. They both approved of it without receiving me less politely,
and the secret was so well kept that it was never known to the public.

The proposition did not come in a favorable moment. I had some time
before this formed the project of quitting literature, and especially the
trade of an author. I had been disgusted with men of letters by
everything that had lately befallen me, and had learned from experience
that it was impossible to proceed in the same track without having some
connections with them. I was not much less dissatisfied with men of the
world, and in general with the mixed life I had lately led, half to
myself and half devoted to societies for which I was unfit. I felt more
than ever, and by constant experience, that every unequal association is
disadvantageous to the weaker person. Living with opulent people, and in
a situation different from that I had chosen, without keeping a house as
they did, I was obliged to imitate them in many things; and little
expenses, which were nothing to their fortunes, were for me not less
ruinous than indispensable. Another man in the country-house of a
friend, is served by his own servant, as well at table as in his chamber;
he sends him to seek for everything he wants; having nothing directly to
do with the servants of the house, not even seeing them, he gives them
what he pleases, and when he thinks proper; but I, alone, and without a
servant, was at the mercy of the servants of the house, of whom it was
necessary to gain the good graces, that I might not have much to suffer;
and being treated as the equal of their master, I was obliged to treat
them accordingly, and better than another would have done, because, in
fact, I stood in greater need of their se