th all his friends and
counsellors.' I did not listen to those words of grave import. All
wise men gave me the same beneficial advice. Vidura, and Bhishma, and
Drona, and Kripa, said the same thing. The holy and high-souled Vyasa
repeatedly said the same, as also Sanjaya and Gandhari. Overwhelmed,
however, by filial affection, I could not follow that advice. Bitter
repentance is now my lot for my neglect. I also repent for not having
bestowed that blazing prosperity, derived from sires and grand sires, on
the high-souled Pandavas possessed of every accomplishment. The eldest
brother of Gada foresaw the destruction of all the kings; Janarddana,
however, regarded that destruction as highly beneficial.[2] So many
Anikas of troops, belonging to me, have been destroyed. Alas, my heart is
pierced with thousands of darts in consequence of all these results. Of
wicked understanding as I am, now after the lapse of five and ten years,
I am seeking to expiate my sins. Now at the fourth division of the day or
sometimes at the eighth division, with the regularity of a vow, I eat a
little food for simply conquering my thirst. Gandhari knows this. All my
attendants are under the impression that I eat as usual. Through fear of
Yudhishthira alone I concealed my acts, for if the eldest son of Pandu
came to know of my vow, he would feel great pain. Clad in deer-skin, I
lie down on the Earth, spreading a small quantity of Kusa grass, and pass
the time in silent recitations. Gandhari of great fame passes her time in
the observance of similar vows. Even thus do we both behave, we that have
lost a century of sons none of whom ever retreated from battle. I do not,
however, grieve for those children of mine. They have all died in the
observance of Kshatriya duties." Having said these words, the old king
then addressed Yudhishthira in particular and said, "Blessed be thou, O
son of the princess of Yadu's race. Listen now to what I say. Cherished
by thee, O son, I have lived these years very happily. I have (with thy
help) made large gifts and performed Sraddhas repeatedly.[3] I have, O
son, to the best of my power, achieved merit largely. This Gandhari,
though destitute of sons, has lived with great fortitude, looking all the
while at me. They whom inflicted great wrongs on Draupadi and robbed thee
of thy affluence,--those cruel wights--have all left the world, slain in
battle agreeably to the practice of their order.

"'"I have nothing to do for