tempers; they quarrel, fight, and shake hands; they have long and loud
altercations, in which the strongest voice often gets the better. It
does not improve the temper to be overborne by petulance and clamour:
even mild, sensible children, will learn to be positive if they
converse with violent dunces. In private families, where children mix
in the society of persons of different ages, who encourage them to
converse without reserve, they may meet with exact justice; they may
see that their respective talents and good qualities are appreciated;
they may acquire the habit of arguing without disputing; and they may
learn that species of mutual forbearance in trifles, as well as in
matters of consequence, which tends so much to domestic happiness. Dr.
Franklin, in one of his letters to a young female friend, after
answering some questions which she had asked him, apparently referring
to an argument which had passed some time before, concludes with this
comprehensive compliment: "So, you see, I think you had the best of
the _argument_; and, as you give it up in complaisance to the company,
I think you had also the best of the _dispute_." When young people
perceive that they gain credit by keeping their temper in
conversation, they will not be furious for victory, because
moderation, during the time of battle, can alone entitle them to the
honours of a triumph.
It is particularly necessary for girls to acquire command of temper in
arguing, because much of the effect of their powers of reasoning, and
of their wit, when they grow up, will depend upon the gentleness and
good humour with which they conduct themselves. A woman, who should
attempt to thunder like Demosthenes, would not find her eloquence
increase her domestic happiness. We by no means wish that women should
yield their better judgment to their fathers or husbands; but, without
using any of that debasing cunning which Rousseau recommends, they may
support the cause of reason with all the graces of female gentleness.
A man, in a furious passion, is terrible to his enemies; but a woman
in a passion, is disgusting to her friends; she loses the respect due
to her sex, and she has not masculine strength and courage to enforce
any other species of respect. These circumstances should be considered
by writers who advise that no difference should be made in the
education of the two sexes. We cannot help thinking that their
happiness is of more consequence than their spec
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