l strain involved in such
questions! How it must ruin your health to find out how many times a
wheel of radius 6 feet will turn round between York and London, a
distance of 200 miles! It is quite wonderful how your brains, my dear
male sycophants, can stand such fearful demands upon your intelligence
and industry!

But you are so kind to us, so afraid of our health! Really, we are much
obliged to you. If you married one of us, or became our guardian, or
left us a legacy, we should then recognise your interest in us, and be
very grateful to you for your good advice. But as matters stand, we are
quite capable of taking care of ourselves. We will promise not to work
too hard, if you will promise not to weary us with your paternal
jurisdiction.

But, male sycophants, I want a word with you. Why do you object to our
taking degrees, or going in for examinations in order to qualify
ourselves for our duties in life? You need not speak out loud if you
would rather not. Are you not just a little afraid that we might eclipse
you? And it is not pleasant to be beaten by a woman, is it? And then you
profess to think that we ought to be all housewives and cooks, and
knitters of stockings, and sewers-on of our husbands' buttons; but what
if we have no husbands, no buttons to sew? And is it not a little
selfish, my dear male sycophant, to wish to keep us all to yourself? to
attend upon the wants of the lords of creation, who often distinguish
themselves so much in the domain of science?

Now, look me straight in the face (no shirking, sir!). Is it not
jealousy--green-eyed, false-tongued jealousy--which saps your generous
instincts, and makes you talk rubbish and nonsense about strains, and
brains, and ambition, and the like? And if that is not hypocritical, I
do not know what is.

Well, good-day to you, male sycophant! I really have not time to indulge
myself in scolding you any more. You are a good creature, no doubt; and
when you have shown us what you can do, and can estimate the capacity of
the female brain, and take a common-sense view of things, we will
recognise your privilege to speak; and when I am the presiding genius of
Girtham College, I will grant you the use of our hall for the purpose of
lecturing to us on 'Women's Rights,' or, as you may prefer to entitle
your discourse, 'Men's Wrongs.'

* * * * *

Oh, this is shameful! I really am very sorry. Here have I been wasting a
good half-ho