ipt, and so far I haven't brought it.
I've forgotten it. Now what do you think you're going to her to-day to
say? 'He sends his compliments,' and she'll ask you, 'What about the
money?' You might still have said to her, 'He's a degraded sensualist, and
a low creature, with uncontrolled passions. He didn't send your money
then, but wasted it, because, like a low brute, he couldn't control
himself.' But still you might have added, 'He isn't a thief though. Here
is your three thousand; he sends it back. Send it yourself to Agafya
Ivanovna. But he told me to say "he sends his compliments." ' But, as it
is, she will ask, 'But where is the money?' "

"Mitya, you are unhappy, yes! But not as unhappy as you think. Don't worry
yourself to death with despair."

"What, do you suppose I'd shoot myself because I can't get three thousand
to pay back? That's just it. I shan't shoot myself. I haven't the strength
now. Afterwards, perhaps. But now I'm going to Grushenka. I don't care
what happens."

"And what then?"

"I'll be her husband if she deigns to have me, and when lovers come, I'll
go into the next room. I'll clean her friends' goloshes, blow up their
samovar, run their errands."

"Katerina Ivanovna will understand it all," Alyosha said solemnly. "She'll
understand how great this trouble is and will forgive. She has a lofty
mind, and no one could be more unhappy than you. She'll see that for
herself."

"She won't forgive everything," said Dmitri, with a grin. "There's
something in it, brother, that no woman could forgive. Do you know what
would be the best thing to do?"

"What?"

"Pay back the three thousand."

"Where can we get it from? I say, I have two thousand. Ivan will give you
another thousand--that makes three. Take it and pay it back."

"And when would you get it, your three thousand? You're not of age,
besides, and you must--you absolutely must--take my farewell to her to-day,
with the money or without it, for I can't drag on any longer, things have
come to such a pass. To-morrow is too late. I shall send you to father."

"To father?"

"Yes, to father first. Ask him for three thousand."

"But, Mitya, he won't give it."

"As though he would! I know he won't. Do you know the meaning of despair,
Alexey?"

"Yes."

"Listen. Legally he owes me nothing. I've had it all from him, I know
that. But morally he owes me something, doesn't he? You know he started
with twenty-eight thousand of my mother's money