me
at that time, I should have at once relieved his anxiety about that
unlucky three thousand roubles, but he had given up coming to see me ...
and I myself was put in such a position ... that I could not invite
him.... And I had no right, indeed, to be exacting as to that money," she
added suddenly, and there was a ring of resolution in her voice. "I was
once indebted to him for assistance in money for more than three thousand,
and I took it, although I could not at that time foresee that I should
ever be in a position to repay my debt."

There was a note of defiance in her voice. It was then Fetyukovitch began
his cross-examination.

"Did that take place not here, but at the beginning of your acquaintance?"
Fetyukovitch suggested cautiously, feeling his way, instantly scenting
something favorable. I must mention in parenthesis that, though
Fetyukovitch had been brought from Petersburg partly at the instance of
Katerina Ivanovna herself, he knew nothing about the episode of the four
thousand roubles given her by Mitya, and of her "bowing to the ground to
him." She concealed this from him and said nothing about it, and that was
strange. It may be pretty certainly assumed that she herself did not know
till the very last minute whether she would speak of that episode in the
court, and waited for the inspiration of the moment.

No, I can never forget those moments. She began telling her story. She
told everything, the whole episode that Mitya had told Alyosha, and her
bowing to the ground, and her reason. She told about her father and her
going to Mitya, and did not in one word, in a single hint, suggest that
Mitya had himself, through her sister, proposed they should "send him
Katerina Ivanovna" to fetch the money. She generously concealed that and
was not ashamed to make it appear as though she had of her own impulse run
to the young officer, relying on something ... to beg him for the money.
It was something tremendous! I turned cold and trembled as I listened. The
court was hushed, trying to catch each word. It was something unexampled.
Even from such a self-willed and contemptuously proud girl as she was,
such an extremely frank avowal, such sacrifice, such self-immolation,
seemed incredible. And for what, for whom? To save the man who had
deceived and insulted her and to help, in however small a degree, in
saving him, by creating a strong impression in his favor. And, indeed, the
figure of the young officer who, wi