een them even a month ago, for even then, perhaps, shaking with
anger, she had pondered whether to show it at the trial or not. Now she
had taken the fatal plunge. I remember that the letter was read aloud by
the clerk, directly afterwards, I believe. It made an overwhelming
impression. They asked Mitya whether he admitted having written the
letter.

"It's mine, mine!" cried Mitya. "I shouldn't have written it, if I hadn't
been drunk!... We've hated each other for many things, Katya, but I swear,
I swear I loved you even while I hated you, and you didn't love me!"

He sank back on his seat, wringing his hands in despair. The prosecutor
and counsel for the defense began cross-examining her, chiefly to
ascertain what had induced her to conceal such a document and to give her
evidence in quite a different tone and spirit just before.

"Yes, yes. I was telling lies just now. I was lying against my honor and
my conscience, but I wanted to save him, for he has hated and despised me
so!" Katya cried madly. "Oh, he has despised me horribly, he has always
despised me, and do you know, he has despised me from the very moment that
I bowed down to him for that money. I saw that.... I felt it at once at
the time, but for a long time I wouldn't believe it. How often I have read
it in his eyes, 'You came of yourself, though.' Oh, he didn't understand,
he had no idea why I ran to him, he can suspect nothing but baseness, he
judged me by himself, he thought every one was like himself!" Katya hissed
furiously, in a perfect frenzy. "And he only wanted to marry me, because
I'd inherited a fortune, because of that, because of that! I always
suspected it was because of that! Oh, he is a brute! He was always
convinced that I should be trembling with shame all my life before him,
because I went to him then, and that he had a right to despise me for ever
for it, and so to be superior to me--that's why he wanted to marry me!
That's so, that's all so! I tried to conquer him by my love--a love that
knew no bounds. I even tried to forgive his faithlessness; but he
understood nothing, nothing! How could he understand indeed? He is a
monster! I only received that letter the next evening: it was brought me
from the tavern--and only that morning, only that morning I wanted to
forgive him everything, everything--even his treachery!"

The President and the prosecutor, of course, tried to calm her. I can't
help thinking that they felt ashamed of taking