ng forward things that have
never happened, recall everything, forget nothing, add something of her
own, and only then forgive you. And even the best, the best of them do it.
She'll scrape up all the scrapings and load them on your head. They are
ready to flay you alive, I tell you, every one of them, all these angels
without whom we cannot live! I tell you plainly and openly, dear boy,
every decent man ought to be under some woman's thumb. That's my
conviction--not conviction, but feeling. A man ought to be magnanimous, and
it's no disgrace to a man! No disgrace to a hero, not even a Caesar! But
don't ever beg her pardon all the same for anything. Remember that rule
given you by your brother Mitya, who's come to ruin through women. No, I'd
better make it up to Grusha somehow, without begging pardon. I worship
her, Alexey, worship her. Only she doesn't see it. No, she still thinks I
don't love her enough. And she tortures me, tortures me with her love. The
past was nothing! In the past it was only those infernal curves of hers
that tortured me, but now I've taken all her soul into my soul and through
her I've become a man myself. Will they marry us? If they don't, I shall
die of jealousy. I imagine something every day.... What did she say to you
about me?"

Alyosha repeated all Grushenka had said to him that day. Mitya listened,
made him repeat things, and seemed pleased.

"Then she is not angry at my being jealous?" he exclaimed. "She is a
regular woman! 'I've a fierce heart myself!' Ah, I love such fierce
hearts, though I can't bear any one's being jealous of me. I can't endure
it. We shall fight. But I shall love her, I shall love her infinitely.
Will they marry us? Do they let convicts marry? That's the question. And
without her I can't exist...."

Mitya walked frowning across the room. It was almost dark. He suddenly
seemed terribly worried.

"So there's a secret, she says, a secret? We have got up a plot against
her, and Katya is mixed up in it, she thinks. No, my good Grushenka,
that's not it. You are very wide of the mark, in your foolish feminine
way. Alyosha, darling, well, here goes! I'll tell you our secret!"

He looked round, went close up quickly to Alyosha, who was standing before
him, and whispered to him with an air of mystery, though in reality no one
could hear them: the old warder was dozing in the corner, and not a word
could reach the ears of the soldiers on guard.

"I will tell you all our s