I have never liked apples. I
will uphold the Oxford theory--besides, I am writing in an Oxford Review,
and am in duty bound to uphold the Oxford theory. So in my notice I
asserted that the world was round; I quoted Scripture, and endeavoured to
prove that the world was typified by the apple in Scripture, both as to
shape and properties. "An apple is round," said I, "and the world is
round--the apple is a sour, disagreeable fruit; and who has tasted much
of the world without having his teeth set on edge?" I, however, treated
the publisher, upon the whole, in the most urbane and Oxford-like manner;
complimenting him upon his style, acknowledging the general soundness of
his views, and only differing with him in the affair of the apple and
pear.

I did not like reviewing at all--it was not to my taste; it was not in my
way; I liked it far less than translating the publisher's philosophy for
that was something in the line of one whom a competent judge had surnamed
Lavengro. I never could understand why reviews were instituted; works of
merit do not require to be reviewed, they can speak for themselves, and
require no praising; works of no merit at all will die of themselves,
they require no killing. The review to which I was attached was, as has
been already intimated, established on an entirely new plan; it professed
to review all new publications, which certainly no review had ever
professed to do before, other reviews never pretending to review more
than one-tenth of the current literature of the day. When I say it
professed to review all new publications, I should add, which should be
sent to it; for, of course, the review would not acknowledge the
existence of publications, the authors of which did not acknowledge the
existence of the review. I don't think, however, that the review had
much cause to complain of being neglected; I have reason to believe that
at least nine-tenths of the publications of the day were sent to the
review, and in due time reviewed. I had good opportunity of judging--I
was connected with several departments of the review, though more
particularly with the poetical and philosophic ones. An English
translation of Kant's philosophy made its appearance on my table the day
before its publication. In my notice of this work, I said that the
English shortly hoped to give the Germans a _quid pro quo_. I believe at
that time authors were much in the habit of publishing at their own
expense.