y"; you size up the world, patter
slang,
Hit slick, give what for, and Compulsory Latin and Greek may go 'ang.
That's "modernity," CHARLIE! Style, modesty, taste? Oh, go 'ome and eat
coke!
Old STUFFY KNEES wouldn't 'ave tumbled, you bet, to a Music 'All joke.

"Jest fancy a gentleman not knowing Greek!" So a josser named FROUDE
Said some time ago. Oh Gewillikens! Must ha' bin dotty or screwed.
A modern School Master could hopen his hoptics a mossel, you bet;
Greek's corpsed, and them graduate woters will flock to its funeral yet.

"We're going to plant it to-morrer!" That comic song 'its it at once.
"Attic lore" will be blowed attic-high; and the duffers who dub you a
dunce
'Cos yer 'OMER, or haitches, is quisby, in Rome or in London, will know
That ARRIUS--or 'ARRY--romps in while CAT ULLUS is stopping to blow.

As to ARRIUS, I wish I'd 'ave knowed 'im, no doubt we'd 'ave palled up
to-rights,
And 'ave chivied CAT ULLUS together, like one o' them broken-nosed frights
Saps call elassick busts; stone Aunt Sallies fit only for cockshies, dear
boy,
Wich to chip out my name on their cheeks is a barney I always enjoy.

Your Cockney eternal? No doubt! And a jolly good job, _I_ should say;
It's much more than yer conkey old Classicks, for they 'ave about 'ad
_their_ day.
You may stuff college ganders with all the compulsory cram as they'll
carry,
And _then_ it's yer fly bird as scores off 'em, whether that's ARRIUS or

'ARRY.

[Footnote 1: See article, "'Arry in Rome and London," in last Number
of _Punch_.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: DRAWING THE LINE.

_Judge_. "REMOVE THOSE BARRISTERS. THEY'RE DRAWING!"

_Chorus of Juniors_. "MAY IT PLEASE YOUR LUDSHIP, WE'RE ONLY
DRAWING--PLEADINGS."

("Mr. Justice DENMAN said that he saw a thing going on in
Court that he could not sanction. He saw Gentlemen of the Bar
making pictures of the witness. Let it be understood that
he would turn out any Gentleman of the Bar who did so in
future."--_Daily Paper, Thursday, December 17._)]

* * * * *

A DIPLOMATIC ON DIT.

Where LYTTON lately ruled supreme,
A Marquis will direct affairs.
Congratulations, then, to him
And to ourselves in equal shares.
But stranger paradox than this
Most surely there has never been,--
We send a most distinguished man