When gathering--well, well, no matter!
No more _I_'ll hunt for mistletoe.

No more I'll stand and hold the ladder
For reverend gentlemen to mount.
Ah me! Few memories make me madder,
Though merrier ones I may not count.

Goose! How about those steps I'd linger!
Muff! How I bound my handkerchief
Last Christmas Eve, about his finger,
Pierced by that cruel holly-leaf!

And now he's going to marry MINNIE,
The wealthy farmer's freckled frump,
A little narrow-chested ninny!
Into Pound's pond I'll go and jump!

Yet no, Miss MIGGS and he might chuckle,
I know a trick worth two of that;
I'll up and take that fool, BOB BUCKLE,
I hate him, but his farm is fat.

When rustic woman stoops to folly,
And finds e'en Curates can betray,
What act can aggravate the "dolly"
Whose wealth has won his heart away?

The only art her grief to cover,
Enable her to lift her head,
And show her false white-chokered lover
_She_ won't sing "_Willow_," is--to wed!

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

There is one line in our Mr. DU MAURIER's fascinating and fantastic
novel, _Peter Ibbetson_, which every author should frame and hang up
before his eyes in his study. 'Tis this, and 'tis to be found at page
217, Vol. ii.:--

"Write anyhow! Write for the greatest need and the greatest
number."

"This is business," quoth the Baron, "and _Peter_ who passed so much
of his life asleep seems, when not dreaming, to be uncommonly wide
awake."

A dainty book indeed for a Christmas present is _The Vision of Sir
Launfal_, by JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL, published by GAY AND BIRD--lively
names these--but ought to have been GAY AND LARK. There is an
interesting portrait of the Author as he was in 1842.

"My 'CO.,'" quoth the Baron, "deponeth thusly, as to Calendars
generally,--not, however, including the one-eyed Kalendar of the
Arabian Nights,--that MARCUS WARD, mark us well, comes out uncommonly
strong, specially in the 'Boudoir' and also in the 'Shakspeare'
Calendar, which latter hath for every day in the year 'a motto for
every man.' Methinks this pretty well wipes off the Christmas score,
which includes New Year gifts.

"Now as to books,"--continues the Baron, "here let me say that my
favourite pocket-books, not specially for Christmas, but for all times
and seasons, are those excellent travelling companions provided by
CASSELL's _Nat