It happened, that on a public day
a celebrated beauty of those times was in the Cross Bath, and one of the
crowd of her admirers took a glass of the water in which the fair one
stood, and drank her health to the company. There was in the place a gay
fellow, half fuddled, who offered to jump in, and swore, though he liked
not the liquor, he would have the toast. He was opposed in his
resolution; yet this whim gave foundation to the present honour which is
done to the lady we mention in our liquors, who has ever since been
called a "toast." Though this institution had so trivial a beginning, it
is now elevated into a formal order; and that happy virgin who is
received and drank to at their meetings, has no more to do in this life,
but to judge and accept of the first good offer. The manner of her
inauguration is much like that of the choice of a Doge in Venice: it is
performed by balloting; and when she is so chosen, she reigns
indisputably for that ensuing year; but must be elected anew to prolong
her empire a moment beyond it. When she is regularly chosen, her name is
written with a diamond on a drinking-glass.[265] The hieroglyphic of the
diamond is to show her, that her value is imaginary; and that of the
glass to acquaint her, that her condition is frail, and depends on the
hand which holds her. This wise design admonishes her, neither to
overrate nor depreciate her charms; as well considering and applying,
that it is perfectly according to the humour and taste of the company,
whether the toast is eaten, or left as an offal.

The foremost of the whole rank of toasts, and the most undisputed in
their present empire, are Mrs. Gatty and Mrs. Frontlet: the first, an
agreeable; the second, an awful beauty. These ladies are perfect
friends, out of a knowledge that their perfections are too different to
stand in competition. He that likes Gatty can have no relish for so
solemn a creature as Frontlet; and an admirer of Frontlet will call
Gatty a maypole-girl. Gatty for ever smiles upon you; and Frontlet
disdains to see you smile. Gatty's love is a shining quick flame;
Frontlet's a slow wasting fire. Gatty likes the man that diverts her;
Frontlet him who adores her. Gatty always improves the soil in which she
travels; Frontlet lays waste the country. Gatty does not only smile, but
laughs at her lover; Frontlet not only looks serious, but frowns at him.
All the men of wit (and coxcombs their followers) are professed servants
o