g pleasant about the hearthrug, to which his friend had a
suitable rejoinder. But after the affair last night, and the dark
sayings in the High Street this morning, there was little content or
cosiness about the session. Puffin's brazen optimism was but a tinkling
cymbal, and the Major did not feel like tinkling at all. He but snorted
and glowered, revolving in his mind how to square Miss Mapp. Allied with
her, if she could but be won over, he felt he could face the rest of
Tilling with indifference, for hers would be the most penetrating
shafts, the most stinging pleasantries. He had more too, so he
reflected, to lose than Puffin, for till the affair of the duel the
other had never been credited with deeds of bloodthirsty gallantry,
whereas he had enjoyed no end of a reputation in amorous and honourable
affairs. Marriage no doubt would settle it satisfactorily, but this
bachelor life, with plenty of golf and diaries, was not to be lightly
exchanged for the unknown. Short of that ...

A light broke, and he got to his feet, following the gleam and walking
very lame out of general discomfiture.

"Tell you what it is, Puffin," he said. "You and I, particularly you,
owe that estimable lady a very profound apology for what happened last
night. You ought to withdraw every word you said, and I every word that
I didn't say."

"Can't be done," said Puffin. "That would be giving up my hold over your
lady friend. We should be known as drunkards all over the shop before
you could say winkie. Worse off than before."

"Not a bit of it. If it's Miss Mapp, and I'm sure it is, who has been
spreading these--these damaging rumours about our duel, it's because
she's outraged and offended, quite rightly, at your conduct to her last
night. Mine, too, if you like. Ample apology, sir, that's the ticket."

"Dog-ticket," said Puffin. "No thanks."

"Very objectionable expression," said Major Flint. "But you shall do as
you like. And so, with your permission, shall I. I shall apologize for
my share in that sorry performance, in which, thank God, I only played a
minor role. That's my view, and if you don't like it, you may dislike
it."

Puffin yawned.

"Mapp's a cat," he said. "Stroke a cat and you'll get scratched. Shy a
brick at a cat, and she'll spit at you and skedaddle. You're poor
company to-night, Major, with all these qualms."

"Then, sir, you can relieve yourself of my company," said the Major, "by
going home."

"Just what I w