ughty of you to have begun your shopping without me!"

"Only been to the grocer's," said the Contessa. "Major Benjy has been so
amusing that I haven't got on with my shopping at all. I have written to
Cecco to say that there is no one so witty."

(Major Benjy! thought Miss Mapp bitterly, remembering how long it had
taken her to arrive at that. "And witty." She had not arrived at that
yet.)

"No, indeed!" said the Major. "It was the Contessa, Miss Mapp, who has
been so entertaining."

"I'm sure she would be," said Miss Mapp, with an enormous smile. "And,
oh, Major Benjy, you'll miss your tram unless you hurry, and get no golf
at all, and then be vexed with us for keeping you. You men always blame
us poor women."

"Well, upon my word, what's a game of golf compared with the pleasure of
being with the ladies?" asked the Major, with a great fat bow.

"I want to catch that tram," said Puffin quite distinctly, and Miss Mapp
found herself more nearly forgetting his inebriated insults than ever
before.

"You poor Captain Puffin," said the Contessa, "you shall catch it. Be
off, both of you, at once. I will not say another word to either of you.
I will never forgive you if you miss it. But to-morrow afternoon, Major
Benjy."

He turned round to bow again, and a bicycle luckily (for the rider)
going very slowly, butted softly into him behind.

"Not hurt?" called the Contessa. "Good! Ah, Miss Mapp, let us get to our
shopping! How well you manage those men! How right you are about them!
They want their golf more than they want us, whatever they may say. They
would hate us, if we kept them from their golf. So sorry not to have
been able to play bridge with you yesterday, but an engagement. What a
busy place Tilling is. Let me see! Where is the list of things that
Figgis told me to buy? That Figgis! A roller-towel for his pantry, and
some blacking for his boots, and some flannel I suppose for his fat
stomach. It is all for Figgis. And there is that swift Mrs. Plaistow.
She comes like a train with a red light in her face and wheels and
whistlings. She talks like a telegram--Good-morning, Mrs. Plaistow."

"Enjoyed my game of bridge, Contessa," panted Diva. "Delightful game of
bridge yesterday."

The Contessa seemed in rather a hurry to reply. But long before she
could get a word out Miss Mapp felt she knew what had happened....

"So pleased," said the Contessa quickly. "And now for Figgis's towels,
Miss Mapp. Ten and sixpe