evening: here was she delighted that he should not
spend it "jollily" with Captain Puffin ... and there was plenty of
plum-pudding.

"Come and have your dinner with me," she said. "I'm alone too."

He shook his head.

"Very kind of you, I'm sure, Miss Elizabeth," he said, "but I think I'll
hold myself in readiness to go across to poor old Puffin, if he feels up
to it. I feel lost without my friend Puffin."

"But you must have no jolly evening, Major Benjy," she said. "So bad for
him. A little soup and a good night's rest. That's the best thing.
Perhaps he would like me to go in and read to him. I will gladly. Tell
him so from me. And if you find he doesn't want anybody, not even you,
well, there's a slice of plum-pudding at your neighbour's, and such a
warm welcome."

She stood on the steps of her house, which in summer were so crowded
with sketchers, and would have kissed her hand to him had not Diva been
following close behind, for even on Christmas Day poor Diva was capable
of finding something ill-natured to say about the most tender and
womanly action ... and Miss Mapp let herself into her house with only a
little wave of her hand....

Somehow the idea that Major Benjy was feeling lonely and missing the
quarrelsome society of his debauched friend was not entirely unpleasing
to her. It was odd that there should be anybody who missed Captain
Puffin. Who would not sooner play golf all alone (if that was possible)
than with him, or spend an evening alone rather than with his
companionship? But if Captain Puffin had to be missed, she would
certainly have chosen Major Benjy to be the person who missed him.
Without wishing Captain Puffin any unpleasant experience, she would have
borne with equanimity the news of his settled melancholia, or his
permanent dizziness, for Major Benjy with his bright robustness was not
the sort of man to prove a willing comrade to a chronically dizzy or
melancholic friend. Nor would it be right that he should be so. Men in
the prime of life were not meant for that. Nor were they meant to be the
victims of designing women, even though Wyses of Whitchurch.... He was
saved from that by their most opportune departure.

In spite of her readiness to be interrupted at any moment, Miss Mapp
spent a solitary evening. She had pulled a cracker with Withers, and
severely jarred a tooth over a threepenny-piece in the plum-pudding, but
there had been no other events. Once or twice, in order to see w