to whom he
complacently refers as "the little woman _I married_."

MARRIAGE: The intermission between the wedding and the divorce.

WEDDING: The point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins
roasting her.

Most girls, nowadays, would give a lot for a few solid vows, a few
unshrinkable signs of devotion and a really convincing kiss.

It isn't a husband's disinclination to listen to his wife's
conversation, but that "I-am-ready-to-bear-with-you" expression with
which he does it that grates on her nerves so.

The average man has so much heart that he apparently thinks it a pity to
waste it all on one woman.

Alas! Why is it that when your cup of happiness is full _somebody_
always jogs your elbow!

Never judge a man's love by the ardor of his first kiss, nor by the
tenderness of his second, but by the eagerness with which he seeks the
third.

When it comes to making love, a girl can always listen so much faster
than a man can talk.

If nothing but their heart-strings became entangled, people would not
find the marriage tie so binding; it is a man's purse-strings and a
woman's apron-strings that really form the Gordian knot.

In love, a man loses first his head, then his vanity, then his
poise--and, last of all, his heart.

It is much more comfortable to be considered a "little devil" and get a
credit mark every time you do anything right, than to be considered an
"angel" and get a black mark every time you do anything human.

Love is a game at which a woman must play against stacked cards, and
without the slightest inkling of the trump.

A woman's last resort is henna--a man's Gehenna.

To a woman marriage is the beginning of life; to a man it is the end of
"liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Perfect wife: That which a married man always fancies he might have
gotten if he had kept on experimenting a little longer.

Why is it that, no matter how much a man thinks of one girl, he can't
help thinking of a lot of others at the same time?

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can
just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

IT IS QUITE CORRECT
TO SEND YOUR FORMER
HUSBAND A GIFT ON
THE ANNIVERSARY OF
YOUR DIVORCE, IN REMEMBRANCE
OF "THE
MANY HAPPY DAYS
WHICH YOU HAVE
SPENT--APART"

[Illustration: In remembrance.]

DIVORCES

LOVE, the quest; marriage, the