the modern advance in the "arts and crafts" it requires more
art to get a husband and more craft to keep one nowadays, than it ever
did.

A frank man may be the noblest work of God, but he is as much of a
nuisance in feminine society as a woman on a fishing trip.

There is always a chance that a man may escape from the bonds of
matrimony; but an old bachelor is wedded by all the bonds of nature to a
collection of habits from which nothing but death can divorce him.

By the time he marries, a bachelor's heart has been pressed, cleaned and
mended so often that it will barely hold together through the
honeymoon.

It seems so unreasonable of man to expect a woman to think straight,
walk straight, or talk straight, considering that she was made from his
rib--the crookedest bone in his body.

Motto for a married man's den: "Others love your wife, why not _you_?"

A man's idea of being perfectly loyal to a woman is to "think of her
always"--even when he is kissing another woman.

Love is just a glittering illusion with which we gild the hard, cold
facts of life--until all the world seems bright and shining!

Most men are so busy dodging one love affair that they step right back
under the wheels of another, and are fatally mangled.

A brave man is always ready to "face the music"--provided it isn't that
old tune from Lohengrin.

If married couples would show as much respect for one another's personal
liberty, habits and preferences as they do for one another's
toothbrushes, love's young dream would not so often turn into a
nightmare. It is the Siamese twin existence they impose on themselves
that drives them to distraction or destruction.

A man kills time with a golf stick; a woman with a lip-stick.

It is foolish to fancy that a man is thinking of proposing to you; a man
never proposes to any woman, until he has gotten past "thinking."

If a man would employ a little more commonsense before marriage and a
little more _incense_ afterwards, matrimony would be more of an
inspiration and less of a visitation.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

The man who takes a kiss "for granted" doesn't stand a chance beside the
man who takes it before it is granted.

Husband: A miniature volcano, constantly smoking, usually grumbling, and
always liable to violent and unexpected eruptions.

On the journey of matrimony, there are no garages where punctured
illusions can be patched up, shattered ideals