started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's
punishment has been to have to supply a man with food and then suffer
the consequences when it disagrees with him.

The wings of love are not clipped by marriage; they merely _molt_ for
lack of exercise.

All love is 99.44 per cent pure: pure imagination, pure vanity, pure
curiosity, pure folly or whatever else it happens to be.

Don't waste your tears on the girls a heart-breaker _should_ have
married and didn't; save them for the girl he _will_ marry and
_shouldn't_.

It requires a little moisture to make a postage stamp stick and a little
cold water of indifference to make a sweetheart stick.

There are only two kinds of perfectly faultless men--the dead and the
deadly.

In order to see a man in his most interesting colors a woman always has
to scrape off a lot of unnecessary whitewashing.

Marriage is a discord that turns "Love's Old Sweet Song" from a eulogy
into an elegy.

The height of the average girl's ambition is just about six feet.

You can always cure a man of love-sickness with "mental suggestion"
merely by suggesting to him that the girl is trying to marry him.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism
are extracted without an anaesthetic.

Jealousy is the false alarm that wakes us up from love's young dream.

The most successful men are not those who have been inspired by a wise
woman's love, but those who have perspired in order to gratify a foolish
woman's whims.

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover
after he has stopped guessing.

A man's soul lies so close to his digestion that when he looks blue and
downhearted, a woman never knows whether to offer him a kiss, a meal, a
dose of philosophy or a dyspepsia tablet.

A woman is so complex that she can prove to a man by every possible
convincing argument that she feels nothing but platonic friendship for
him, at the same time that she is thinking how she would like to run her
fingers through his hair.

One reason why a man's life is so much fuller than a woman's is because
he spends nearly three-quarters of it in hunting up things for a woman
to do.

Oh yes, a woman always looks up to a brave, strong man whom she can
respect--and then nine times out of ten, goes and marries some pallid
weakling whom she can "mother."

A man spends his boyhood struggling against an education, his youth
struggling against matrimony an