ls in diplomacy must be cut out by actual carving; and in order to
dish them, recourse must be had to real dishes.

If one diplomatist wishes to turn the tables on another, it is requisite
that he and his suite should keep the better tables.

The politeness of diplomatic intercourse should be qualified, in some
measure, with sauce, and its gravity tempered with gravy.

Treating, in diplomacy, is best managed by giving "a spread."

Bold diplomatists are those "who greatly daring, dine."

The most liberal foreign policy is that of giving grand banquets.

A plenipotentiary should have unlimited powers of cramming.

An embassador has been defined to be, "a man sent abroad to lie for the
sake of the commonwealth;" but the definition must be enlarged to
express the fact, that he is also a person deputed to a foreign country
to eat and drink for the interest of his native land.

The most important diplomatic functions are those of digestion.

[Illustration: SUPPER AT A JUVENILE PARTY.

_Alfred._ "I SAY, FRANK, ARN'T YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SUPPER?"

_Frank._ "A--NOT AT PRESENT. I SHALL WAIT TILL THE WOMEN LEAVE THE
ROOM."]

[Illustration: ONE OF THE JUVENILES AFTER THE PARTY.

_Doctor._ "AHEM! WELL! AND WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY YOUNG FRIEND,
ADOLPHUS?"

_Mother._ "WHY, DOCTOR, HE WAS AT A JUVENILE PARTY LAST NIGHT, AND I'M
AFRAID HE'S EATEN SOMETHING THAT DOES'N'T AGREE WITH HIM, POOR DEAR!"]

CONVERSATION-BOOKS FOR 1851.

It is said that Publishers are getting up a series of Conversation-Books
for the use of foreigners, visiting the Great Exhibition. But the spoken
and written language of London are so different that it is feared these
books will be of little use. Mr. PUNCH furnishes the following
corrections of the two most important chapters, by the diligent study of
which it is hoped that visitors may be enabled to ride and dine.

TO CONVERSE WITH A CABMAN.

_What the Book said._ _What the Man said._

Do you wish, Sir, to ride in C'b? (_from every driver on
my cabriolet? the rank, and as many fingers
held up as there are Cabmen._)

Where do you wish, Sir, that Vere to? (_and a look._)
I should drive you?

I wish to go to the Exposition.

Thank you, Sir. I will drive Vere? (_not understanding
you thither without delay. the f