that's three shill'n; and
porter is four; three, four,
eight, ten, fifteen--four-and-two.
Thank you, Sir! Waiter, Sir?
Thank you, Sir.
Good afternoon, Sir.

TO FIND ROOM IN A CROWDED OMNIBUS.

_Conductor._--Would any gentleman mind going outside, to oblige a lady?

_Unfortunate Gentleman (tightly wedged in at the back_).--I should be
very happy, but I only came, yesterday, out of the Fever Hospital.

[_Omnibus clears in a minute!_

A FILE TO SMOOTH ASPERITIES.

The _Sheffield Times_ describes an extraordinary file, which is to be
sent from Sheffield to the Great Exhibition. This remarkable file is
adorned with designs as numerous as those on the original shield of
ACHILLES, all cut and beaten out with hammer and chisel. How much more
sensible and friendly to show distinguished foreigners files of this
sort, than to exhibit to them files of soldiers!

THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MEANNESS.

A FARCE, FOUNDED ON FACT.

MR. _and_ MRS. SKINFLINT _are discovered in a Parlor in a Fashionable
Square. The Wife is busy sewing. The Husband is occupied running his
eye, well drilled in all matters of domestic economy, over the
housekeeping account of the previous week._

_Mr. Skinflint._--You've been very extravagant in my absence, my dear.

_Mrs. Skinflint._--It's the same story every week, JOHN.

_Mr. Skinflint._--But, nonsense, Madam, I tell you, you have. For
instance, you had a Crab for supper last night.

_Mrs. Skinflint (startled)._--How do you know that? It's not down in the
book.

_Mr. Skinflint (triumphantly)._--No--but I found the shell in the
dust-bin!!!!

[Illustration: A LITTLE BIT OF HUMBUG.

_Shoemaker._ "I THINK, MUM, WE HAD BETTER MAKE YOU A PAIR. YOU SEE, MUM,
YOURS IS SUCH A REMARKABLE LONG AND NARRER FOOT!"]

FASHIONS FOR MAY.

[Illustration: FIG. I.--PROMENADE COSTUMES.]

This is the season when Fashion is more perplexed than at any other, in
her endeavors to give humanity a _seasonable_ garb. Boreas and Zephyrus
often bear rule on the same day, one reigning with mildness in the
morning, the other despotically at evening. Those votaries of Fashion
are the wiser, who pay court to the former; for, generally, it is almost
June, in our Northern