d a joke for Mrs. Betty, my lady's maid, who warmed
the cream and had charge of the canister (the tea cost thirty shillings a
pound in those days). When my Lady Sparkish sent her footman out to my
Lady Match to come at six o'clock and play at quadrille, her ladyship
warned the man to follow his nose, and if he fell by the way not to stay
to get up again. And when the gentlemen asked the hall-porter if his lady
was at home, that functionary replied, with manly waggishness, "She was at
home just now, but she's not gone out yet."

After the puddings, sweet and black, the fritters and soup, came the third
course, of which the chief dish was a hot venison pasty, which was put
before Lord Smart, and carved by that nobleman. Besides the pasty, there
was a hare, a rabbit, some pigeons, partridges, a goose, and a ham. Beer
and wine were freely imbibed during this course, the gentlemen always
pledging somebody with every glass which they drank; and by this time the
conversation between Tom Neverout and Miss Notable had grown so brisk and
lively, that the Derbyshire baronet began to think the young gentlewoman
was Tom's sweetheart; on which Miss remarked, that she loved Tom "like
pie". After the goose, some of the gentlemen took a dram of brandy, "which
was very good for the wholesomes," Sir John said; and now having had a
tolerably substantial dinner, honest Lord Smart bade the butler bring up
the great tankard full of October to Sir John. The great tankard was
passed from hand to hand and mouth to mouth, but when pressed by the noble
host upon the gallant Tom Neverout, he said, "No faith, my lord, I like
your wine, and won't put a churl upon a gentleman. Your honour's claret is
good enough for me." And so, the dinner over, the host said, "Hang saving,
bring us up a ha'porth of cheese."

The cloth was now taken away, and a bottle of burgundy was set down, of
which the ladies were invited to partake before they went to their tea.
When they withdrew, the gentlemen promised to join them in an hour; fresh
bottles were brought, the "dead men", meaning the empty bottles, removed;
and "D'you hear, John? bring clean glasses", my Lord Smart said. On which
the gallant Colonel Alwit said, "I'll keep my glass; for wine is the best
liquor to wash glasses in."

After an hour the gentlemen joined the ladies, and then they all sat and
played quadrille until three o'clock in the morning, when the chairs and
the flambeaux came, and this noble com