a
thousand dollars' worth, but I never thought of that yesterday morning
when I offered you five per cent. Why, great guns, young man, are you
going to charge me fifty-five dollars?"

"Of course I am, and I think I've earned it."

"What! Earned fifty-five dollars in one day? Gracious Peter! I can hire
good men on my farm for seventeen dollars per month."

"Yes, but I didn't see any of them around yesterday who were handy
enough to do your auctioneering."

He became quite excited, and declared he wouldn't pay me more than
fifteen dollars. I argued with him till about ten o'clock, when several
men had come to take away their purchases and settle for them. After I
had resorted to all sorts of methods and arguments to make him pay me, I
said:

"Well, sir, I am going to spoil all the sales made to these men."

He anxiously inquired how I intended to do it.

"Well, I don't suppose it has occurred to you that I am not a licensed
auctioneer, and under the laws of the State you have no right to deliver
or give a bill of sale for goods sold by an auctioneer not licensed."

His eyes fairly popped out of his head, and turning to his wife with
much excitement, said:

"Mary, give him fifty-five dollars, and let him go."

After receiving the money, I said:

"I suppose you would be silly enough to believe me if I should tell you
you ought to have a license to eat when you are hungry."

As his boy had hitched up my old horse, I took my departure at once; and
driving to the nearest town, sent the money to a wholesale notion house
and ordered a stock of auction goods, which was promptly sent.

I began business, working my way back north with a view to striking
into Michigan in time for the County Fairs.

During the whole time I had been skirmishing around with my old horse,
after closing out my stock at Bodkins, I had clung to the old trunk and
my street lamps.

The second day after receiving my goods, while driving along, wondering
what would happen next, I noticed a farmer coming from his house to the
barn, and after looking down the road at me a moment, climbed up on the
board fence and sat there apparently waiting my coming. As I drove up,
he yelled:

"Halloo, stranger whatcher got to swap?"

"I'll swap anything I've got. What have you to trade?"

[Illustration: A PROFITABLE HORSE TRADE--PAGE 476.]

"Well, sir, I've got as handsome a little brown mare as you ever saw.
She is too small to work on a farm, and as