hey had deluged it, and
the result was that the water had soaked through it and had carried with
it all the colors, leaving each piece variegated.

I was at a loss to know what to do with it, and finally concluded to cut
it up into dress patterns of sixteen and two-thirds yards and then give
one pattern away with each dollar sale that evening when I sold at
auction.

That night, before opening my sale, I picked up one of the pieces, and
handing one end of it to a boy, requested him to run down the street
with it till he got it all straightened out. While the boy was holding
to one end and I to the other, I went on and explained that I had that
day bought out Mr. ----, and as I had no knowledge of the dry-goods
business and couldn't tell a piece of calico from an Irish tarpaulin,
that they must not blame me if I sold them silk for Canton flannel.

Besides the paper cambric I had a lot of other pieces of dress goods,
which were in good shape and which I intended to sell to the highest
bidder.

Just as I was about to inaugurate my gift enterprise scheme, some
gentleman of German descent cried out in broken English:

"Swei dollar."

I at once yelled:

"Sold for two dollars, and who will have the next sixteen and two-thirds
yards for two dollars?"

"I'll take 'em," "I'll take 'em," "Here," "Here," "Give me one," "Give
me one," they all shouted at once, and the two-dollars were as thick as
hailstones in less than a second. I stood there and tossed out the dress
patterns and caught their two-dollar bills and silver pieces like a
Chinese juggler. After I had cleaned out every dollar's worth of the
cambric I said:

"Gentlemen, I am going to be frank with you now, and advise you not to
represent to your wives that you have any great bargain in these dress
patterns, for they may be better posted than any of us are. But I'll
tell you what I'll do, boys. If you are dissatisfied now I'll give you
two dollars' worth of any other goods I have, and take the dress
patterns back; or if your wives are not satisfied they can come to the
store to-morrow at ten o'clock and I'll give them two dollars' worth of
any goods I have in exchange for the patterns."

They agreed that that was fair, and all stayed and I made a splendid
sale of notions.

The next day, at two o'clock, I went down to the store and found a
crowd of women large enough to fill a small circus tent. Each one had a
dress pattern, and as I passed by to unlock the d