ing a few oaths to himself.
Afterwards he paid the cigars for the crowd.

He then asked if I wud explain what the divil right any chambermaid had
to wear pants, anyhow.

I answered that it was none of my business, and I hoped I was too much
of a gentleman to meddle with other people's private affairs.

This last assertion offended him very much, and he quickly gave me to
understand that he was as much of a gintleman as I was and niver failed
to moind his own business.

I told him that might be, but it was very strange to me how he should
make such singular discoveries.

He then made a full explanation, and I overlooked it all.

[Illustration]

CHAPTER XXI.

THE DOCTOR SWINDLED--HOW WE GOT EVEN--DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND--THE DOCTOR
PEDDLING STOVE-PIPE BRACKETS--HIS FIRST CUSTOMER--HIS MISHAP AND
DEMORALIZED CONDITION--THE DOCTOR AND MYSELF INVITED TO A COUNTRY
DANCE--HE THE CENTER OF ATTRACTION--THE DOCTOR IN LOVE WITH A CROSS-EYED
GIRL--ENGAGED TO TAKE HER HOME--HIS PLAN FRUSTRATED--HE GETS EVEN WITH
ME--WE CONCLUDE TO DIET HIM--THE LANDLADY RETURNS--DOES NOT KNOW THE
HOUSE.

One day while I was up-town, marketing, the Doctor traded his old
English gold watch and chain to a professional horse-trader, for another
watch with all modern improvements. Immediately on my return he called
me up-stairs, and said:

"Johnston, I have made enough on a single trade to pay me a good month's
salary." And handing me the watch, said: "Look and see what an elegant
thing it is. It cost the infernal fool three hundred and fifty dollars,
and I got it even-up for my old-fashioned gold watch and chain."

I asked him what he valued his old watch and chain at. He said the chain
would bring sixty dollars for old gold, and he didn't know what value to
put on the watch. After examining it, I said:

"Well, Doctor, you made a big hit."

"Well, that's what I think," he shouted, as he hopped about in his usual
frisky manner.

I again remarked:

"Yes sir, you did well. I once traded a horse and watch for a twin
brother to this very watch, and mighty soon discovered that the auction
price on them was three dollars and fifty cents each!"

He then flew into a rage, and cussed me and my judgment. I prevailed on
him to accompany me to a jeweler, who placed the retail price at five
dollars, and said it was a brass watch.

The Doctor declared he would have the fellow arrested; but I urged that
the best way was to keep still, and not