le, she to his left at the side of the table,
and I to his right, opposite her.

The first thing I said was:

"All I care for is pie and coffee."

The Doctor looked sober and enraged.

After all were nicely seated, I told one or two old chestnuts, when the
Doctor ventured on one of his latest. Then I said:

"Doctor, we are all alike. It simply shows our 'impecuniosity' to sit
here and tell stories, when we ought to finish our meal and make room
for others."

Nobody laughed, so I told another. It was about an old gentleman going
out to sell stove-pipe brackets. Everybody laughed but the Doctor. I
then said:

"Doctor, let's hear from you, now."

He was too full for utterance, and as I very well knew, would have given
considerable for a chance to express himself.

After supper he called me out on the porch and said he just expected
every minute that I was going to mention his name in connection with
that peddling story, and it was well I didn't.

"Well, Doctor, I didn't mean you at all."

"The d----l you didn't! I wonder who you meant, if not me."

I then said:

"I see you are having a nice time. Nice girl, you have taken a fancy to;
but I was introduced to her before you were."

"Well, it doesn't make any difference about that," he answered. "She
will have nothing to do with you."

"Why not?"

"Because I told her you were a married man, and that settled it."

"Oh, ho! I see, Doctor. I see you were afraid I would out-shine you,
weren't you?"

"Not much, sir; not much. I know what she thinks of me, and just how
well I stand in her estimation. She is a rich man's daugh----".

"Yes," I interrupted, "and she will never speak to you, after to-night."

"She will, unless you tell some of your infernal yarns and connect me
with them; and if you do, I'll--I'll----"

"But, Doctor," I said, hastily, "what will the landlady say, when she
gets home and sees how things are going?"

"Oh, you cussed idiot!" he screamed. "Do you think she has a string tied
to me? What do you s'pose I care for her? Is she any comparison to this
young lady?"

"No, I suppose not; but, Doctor, you are fooled in this girl; and I'll
bet you didn't tell her about my being married till after supper."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, I noticed that she kept looking at me all the time we were
eating."

"No such a ---- thing. _I_ know she was looking at me. I _know_ she was.
And another thing I know----"

"Yes," I put in, "an