county, and I might add the fact that I
then had in my possession a history of one branch of my father's family
which contained his name, and enabled me to prove him at least a
fourteenth cousin, I at once became interested in him and anxious to see
him in the Presidential chair.

I likewise began reading up on politics; and seeing the necessity of
familiarizing myself with the party platforms, so as to be able to score
every Democrat I met in good shape, I took the precaution to preserve
every good Republican speech I read, and at my leisure cut such extracts
from them as I considered good.

After getting a lot of these together I arranged them so as to read
smoothly, and pasted in a scrap book; and discovered that I had a "bang
up" political speech. I lost no time in committing it to memory, and was
thereby successful in carrying everything by storm.

As I could talk louder, longer and faster than the average person, I
usually experienced little trouble in making the Democrats "lay still."

At last, however, I came in contact with one landlord who was a Democrat
and who made it so very unpleasant for me that I concluded to
manufacture a Democratic speech also, in order to be prepared for
another such occasion.

Therefore I did the same as I did with the Republican speech; and
although I rather preferred Hayes, I didn't think my own prospects for a
post office were so flattering but that, when I considered it a matter
of policy, I could deliver a Democratic speech as well. This I often
did, with as much success as with the Republican.

Whenever I registered at a strange hotel, the first inquiry I made was
about the landlord's politics; and he always found me with him.

Before the campaign was over I had argued about equally for both
parties, and the day before election I felt that I ought to go into
mourning, because whichever was elected I knew I would be sorry it
wasn't the other.

I had been a red hot Democrat at Gallion, Ohio, and had made a great
many hotel-office speeches there, greatly to the satisfaction of the
landlord and his friends.

From there I went to Crestline, where I felt obliged to be a Republican,
and immediately made the acquaintance of two professional men, one a
doctor and the other a lawyer. Both were Republicans, and frequented
the hotel where I boarded. Neither of them could read very easily, on
account of having what I used to call "slivers in their eyes," caused by
excessive drink