u expect her home on this train? Here,
let me go alone. You hurry over there. ---- that lazy Dutchman! Why
didn't he empty the slops?"

I then made a fresh start for the Doctor's washerwoman. On the way I
found his spectacles in a ditch, which had no water in, but plenty of
mud. He had gotten out of the regular path, and in his excitement had
waded into the ditch.

Upon reaching the house, I found the old lady under a high pressure of
exasperation and excitement. When I asked if Doctor ---- had been there,

"Howly Moses!" she shrieked, "I shud think he _had_ been here, wid his
dommed old stove-pipe demolisher. Be jabbers! he got a good whack over
the head wid me mop-stick to pay for his flabbergasted stubbornness. And
I think he'll have to sell more nor wan of thim pesky wire flumadoodles
before he can replace the ould plug hat, which yez'll foind layin' theer
in the wud-box."

I asked for an explanation.

She showed me how the Doctor had come in without any authority, and
insisted on putting "wan of thim dom things on her stove-poipe." After
fastening it on and explaining its purpose, he asked her to set her
kettle of boiled dinner on, and see how stout and strong it was. This
she refused to do, not believing it to be safe.

But the Doctor, "wid his dom jackass stubbornness," as she termed it,
had forcibly taken the kettle from her hands and lifted it to the
bracket.

No sooner was it done than the whole thing, bracket, stove-pipe, and
kettle of dinner went crashing to the floor; and without further
ceremony she grabbed the nearest weapon to her, which happened to be the
mop-stick, and assailed the intruder. She first struck his hat, knocking
it off and bruising it badly, and next gave him a good whack over the
head.

I asked how he tore his coat. She said, as he passed out on the jump his
coat caught on a nail, but it didn't lessen his speed one bit.

I returned to the hotel with the Doctor's hat, cane, spectacles, and the
wire bracket, which the irate woman declared she wouldn't give
house-room to.

The Doctor was in quite a critical condition. His head was badly
swollen, several bruises were on his body from the fall down stairs, and
a high fever had set in, compelling him to take to his bed.

His first question, when I entered his room, was: "What did she say?"
and the second was: "Did the landlady come on the train?"

I answered both, and gave him all the aid and consolation in my power.
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