rnoon there came a middle-aged Irish woman to consult the
doctor while in a Clairvoyant state. He seated her opposite himself, put
his hands on the table, looked wise, and began:

"Madam you have been married several years, and have three children. You
are forty-six years of age, have been afflicted several years, and have
a cancer in the stomach. It will cost you twenty dollars for medicine
enough to last you----"

"To last me a life-time, I s'pose," she cried out, and continued:
"Docther, me dear old man, you're an old jackass! a hombug, a hypocrite
and an imposcher! Sure, I niver had a married husband, and a divil of a
choild am I the mither of. I am liss than thirty-foive, and a healthier,
more robust picture of humanity niver stood before your domm miserable
gaze! The cancer in me stomick is no more nor _liss_ than a pain in me
left shoulder, which any domn fool of a docther wud know was the
rheumatics. To the divil wid yer domned impostorousness and highfalutin
hombuggery! Good day, Docther, darlint; good day. May the divil
transmogrify you into a less pretentious individual, wid more brains and
a domm sight less impecuniosity!"

[Illustration: GOOD DAY, DOCTHER, DARLINT! GOOD DAY.--PAGE 293.]

Our landlady had converted the up-stairs sitting room into a reception
room and private office for the Doctor, by drawing a heavy curtain as a
partition. It was my duty to remain in the reception half of the room to
entertain the callers, while the Doctor was occupied in the consultation
half, with the patient. Therefore I had a grand opportunity to witness
the scene with our Celtic patient, by peeking between the curtains.

The Doctor was fairly paralyzed, and had a ghastly, sickening expression
of countenance during the interview.

He made no attempt to speak further.

As she passed out and slammed the door behind her, I opened the curtains
and cried out:

"CHANGE CARS FOR POCAHONTAS!"

The Doctor began to rave and plunge and swear by note.

He said I had no better sense than to try to make a curiosity of him,
and I would make a ---- sight better blower for a side-show than
traveling agent for a celebrated physician; and that if I had the pluck
of a sick kitten, I would have thrown that old Irish woman out, rather
than sit there and snicker at her tirade and abuse of him.

In a few minutes a lady of German extraction called. The Doctor was in
no very fit condition of mind to go into a state of Clairvoyance.