glasses in order to be sure whether the costumes of the
bathers are really indecent. "Sometimes you think, 'Are they married?'
In that play there is throughout a suggestiveness which would not be
allowed in a music-hall."

Ye gods and little Lauder, how beautiful and simple is the morality of
the music-hall! "Be married and you will be virtuous" seems to sum it
up. From the Lauder point of view there are no difficult questions of
morality; there are sheep and there are goats, but no hybrids, and we
ought never to refer to the goats in public. There are no problem plays,
for there are no problems; everything is plain and easy. Intimate
relations between people not married to one another are beyond
discussion, and it is vulgar to present such law-breakers upon the
stage.

The great Lauder attacks Mr Barrie; he complains of _What Every Woman
Knows_. It has one fault, for "there is a touch of immorality in it
which does not exist, as he must know, in the true character of a
Scotsman. The man going away with another woman is the only part of the
play which I did not like; and it was quite unnecessary. Jimmy Barrie is
a far cleverer man than he thinks he is, but I am sorry for this piece."
Poor Mr Barrie, the great Lauder is sorry for you. Still, it must be
some comfort for you to know that the great illustrious immortal Lauder
calls you "Jimmy."

Let us dig a little deeper into the gold-mine. It is very touching to
see the confidence of Mr Lauder in the virtue of his fellow-countrymen.
According to him, "no touch of immorality exists in the true character
of a Scotsman." Yet it is said that the streets of bonnie Glasgow and
other great towns of virtuous Scotland are not free from the presence of
the hapless followers of Rahab, but perhaps they are only there for the
entertainment of English visitors.

According to the last edition of _Chambers's Encyclopaedia_, the
proportion of illegitimate births in Scotland to legitimate is nearly
twice the proportion in England, and almost three times as great as that
in Ireland. No doubt this, again, is due to the foul Saxon. It is
wonderful that the Scots do not prevent us from coming into their
virtuous country. Yet an idea comes to mind--uncharitable, no doubt.
Some people have thought it an ugly touch in Mr Barrie's play when one
of Maggie's brothers hissed the term of reproach "Englishman" to John
Shand on discovering his faithlessness to his wife. It seemed a brutal
charge of