* *

As far as can be ascertained, Mr. BERNARD SHAW intends to devote the
holidays to verifying the report of his namesake, Mr. TOM SHAW (with whom
he has been stupidly confused), on the Bolshevik _regime_. He will probably
enter Russia secretly, accompanied by a mixed party of vegetarian Fabians
disguised as Muscovites, so that in the event of being denounced as
Boorjoos they may hope to pass for returning Dukhobors, or, in case of
detection, for an amateur theatrical company touring with _Labour's Love's
Lost_.

* * * * *

We understand that Lords LONSDALE and BIRKENHEAD are making arrangements
for a joint trip to Cuba, in order to investigate personally the condition
and prospects of the Havana leaf industry. It will not be surprising if
this visit bears fruit in the shape of the eighteen-inch super-cigar which
sporting men have been for so long demanding.

* * * * *

ON THE EATING OF ASPARAGUS.

There were twenty-three ways of eating asparagus known to the ancients. Of
these the best known method was to suspend it on pulleys about three feet
from the ground and "approach the green" on one's back along the floor; but
it was discontinued about the middle of the fourth century, and no new
method worthy of serious consideration was subsequently evolved, till the
August or September of 1875, when a Mr. Gunter-Brown wrote a letter to the
_A.A.R._ (_The Asparagus Absorbers' Review and Gross Feeders' Gazette_),
saying that he had patented a scheme more cleanly and less unsightly than
the practice of tilting the head backward at an angle of forty-five degrees
and lowering the asparagus into the expectant face, which is shown by
statistics to have been the mode usually adopted at that time.

Mr. Gunter-Brown's apparatus, necessary to the method he advocated,
consisted of a silver or plated tube, into which each branch of asparagus,
except the last inch, was placed, and so drawn into the mouth by suction,
the eater grasping the last uneatable inch, together with the butt end of
the tube, in the palm of his hand. Asparagus branches being of variable
girth, a rubber washer inserted in the end of the tube furthest from the
eater's mouth helped to cause a vacuum.

The inventor claimed that the edible portion of the delicacy became
detached if the intake of the eater was strong enough, but he overlooked
the fact that the necessary force caused the asparagu